As soon as Robert told Elaina that he’d let her turn him, an emotional dam broke within me. She was one step closer to killing him and I still hadn’t found a way to save him.
“What’s wrong?” I suddenly heard his voice say.
I didn’t expect him to be here, so I tried to clean myself up as much as possible. “Nothing,” I lied.
But, I couldn’t help it…I turned and pulled him close to me. In this moment, he was safe. I wished that I could hold him like that and protect him forever.
“It has to be something,” he whispered, holding me tight.
I decided it was now or never. I had to tell him the truth. Maybe it would change his mind about being turned. “Elaina is going to kill you!” I blurted out faster than I intended.
Robert took a step back. “What?” He said. I could tell that it wasn’t what he expected me to say.
There was so much to say, but I didn’t have time to tell him the whole story. “Elaina is just pretending that she’s going to turn you. Once you sign the agreement and she has permission to turn you…she’s going to drain your blood and pretend it was an accident. They’re all in on it…Dante and even Janet Pok.”
While I was hysterical, Robert didn’t seem very concerned. Instead of reacting, he gently placed his hand on my cheek. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.
His touch was so soothing that for the time being, I believed him. I believed that it would all really be okay.
“Okay?” I said softly, but I wasn’t sure what I was saying okay to. It wasn’t necessarily my answer to his reassurances. Somehow it meant more than that.
“Yes,” he said.
Then it was like a force within me took over. I rushed forward and placed my lips on his. I think it surprised him at first…
But when he pulled me in and began to kiss me back, we couldn’t stop.
If he wasn’t holding me so tight, I think I would have passed out there at his feet.
The warmth, his touch, his kisses, his moans…
…It was all too much. I wanted to be closer…closer than was even physically possible.
It seemed to go on and on…a roller-coaster of emotions and I didn’t want to see it end.
I had to remind myself that this was only a dream for him…that at any moment he could wake up and instantly disappear from my arms.
But at the same time…it couldn’t possibly be a dream. Was this what the joining of two separate worlds felt like…a paradox? A reality for me, but only a series of thoughts, feelings and emotions occurring during sleep for him.
“I wish this was real,” I whispered quietly.
“Who says it’s not real?” He whispered back.
“It can’t be. I’m dead…just a spirit…a soul.”
“Well maybe this is the true definition of a soul mate,” he said looking into my eyes; convincing me.
I smiled at the thought as he kissed me, but my mind betrayed me with many doubts.
Afterward, he continued to hold me. “Maybe I should let her,” he said suddenly. I didn’t immediately know what he meant.
“Let her what?” I asked.
He pulled his arm away from me and relaxed on his back. His eyes were dreamy and he had a smile of peace on his face as he spoke, “Maybe I should just let her kill me.”
I jumped up at the thought. I hadn’t thought of it before. If he was dead, we could be together…
But the thought didn’t even get an opportunity to solidify in my mind before I realized that it didn’t even belong in the realm of possibilities. “No,” I said.
“If she insists on killing me…why fight it?”
“This can’t be it for you,” I said.
“But…if it’s meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, right?” Robert said.
My grandmother’s old words coming out of Robert’s mouth jolted me into reality like a slap in the face.
I stood up. I was sent here to save him…no matter what. “It’s not right,” I said as if in a daze.
“What’s not right about it? We could be together,” he said as if that was enough.
“You have the right to have a life…to marry…to have children,” I said, although the thought of him having those things without me caused my heart to sink.
“I don’t want that…I want you!” He said, not even giving the loss of those things a second thought.
Then I remembered what Helen had told me about the conclusion of my mission. The idea rose from the deep places in my memory like a flash flood.
“There’s something that you have to know about me…”I started.
Robert’s face became hard. I knew that he wasn’t prepared to hear any more secrets. I could see him brace himself in preparation.
I couldn’t let Robert die for me. He had too much to live for, so I said exactly what I needed to erase the thought out of his head completely.
“Robert, after I finish what I’m supposed to do here…I’ll have to leave.”
“What are you talking about?”
I lowered my head to avoid looking him in the eyes. “There’s a good chance that I’ll cross over…leave the living world andthe realm forever.
“Well couldn’t I just come with you?”
“It doesn’t work like that! There’s no guarantee that you’d cross over with me!” I said; my desperate tone coming out like anger.
He was quiet, his eyes deep in thought. “I couldn’t see you again?” He said, his voice childlike. He didn’t wait for an answer. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“Robert, you need to go back to Annie…reconcile with her,” I said, suddenly realizing that Doreen was giving Annie a true reading when she saw Robert as Annie’s true groom.
“Annie! What? What do you know about Annie? Why are you saying this?”
I didn’t answer. I again lowered my head.
“Robert, she didn’t break up with you on her own accord. She was under the influence of the vampires. I heard Janet say so.”
“But I love you,” he said sounding defeated; his angered face softening completely.
“You love her,” I said; knowing that this whole situation started with her. Looking at his face, I knew that I was right.
Still, he denied it. “I love you and I know you love me, too,” he said as if he had disregarded Annie as even being a possibility. He turned and left the realm.
He was right and I hated myself for it. I loved him and I knew that it was stupid of me to allow that to get in the way of my mission.
My job was to save him and all I had done was to hurt him…hurt him and myself in the process.
