A few hours later, I woke up. The hospital was quiet…too quiet.
I sat up and put one bare foot on the floor. A chill went up my spine. I put the other foot on the floor and stood up for the first time since my baby was born.
My epidural had worn off soon after I had the baby, but it still took my legs a little while to adjust. When they finally did, I quickly walked to the door.
I slowly opened it and looked out.
The hallway was empty and unnaturally quiet. It was slightly unnerving, but I didn’t stop to dwell on it.
I stepped out into the hallway and walked toward the nursery.
The short walk seemed to take hours; I guess I was just freaking out a little.
I opened the nursery door and peeked in.
To my astonishment, the nurse on duty was absent. Under a different state of mind, I might have found it peculiar or even a bad sign, but at that moment I saw it as a small blessing. I entered the room quietly.
My baby was asleep; resting peacefully. I felt another pang of hurt just watching her breathe…peaceful…unaware that she was not like the other babies surrounding her. I questioned the reason behind her disability and once again wondered if her being born this way was somehow my fault.
I walked over to Carmina. She was also sleeping.
I wrapped her blanket tighter around her and picked her up.
I snuggled her close to my chest. “I want to take you home,” I whispered.
She reached her hand out toward my face as if giving me her consent. I pulled her closer.
Without another glance at my own baby…
I headed toward the door with Carmina still in my arms.
Back in the hallway, I turned a few corners and headed straight to an exit door.
I pushed the handle, but the door was locked. I had to find another way out.
I walked around to find an elevator, but the empty hallways were like a labyrinth. I turned one more corner and heard someone approaching from the hallway behind me.
I held Carmina closer to me and headed toward the nearest door.
It was a storage closet.
I closed the door and stood there listening until I heard footsteps come closer, continue pass the door and down the hall.
I looked around the closet and saw a backpack. I carefully covered Carmina with another blanket and gently placed her in the backpack.
Hanging right next to me on a laundry rack was a nurse’s uniform.
I grabbed it and slipped it over my hospital gown. I put the backpack over my shoulder and walked out of the closet; feeling a lot more secure now that I wouldn’t stand out so much.
I hurried down the hall until I finally found the elevator.
My pace quickened…if I could just get to the elevator, I knew that I’d soon be out of this hospital.
“Nurse!” A gruff masculine voice called out. I swear that my heart stopped as I struggled to remember how to breathe.
I counted each footfall as he walked closer to me…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. The seven steps that it took for him to approach me, gave me time to clear my mind and calm down. If I looked guilty or suspicious, I would be in big trouble.
I spun around to face an older doctor with gray hair.
“Yes,” I answered; a slight nervous quiver to my voice that I prayed he wouldn’t detect.
I could see from his expression that he didn’t recognize me as a member of the nursing staff.
“Oh, I’m sorry…you must be from another floor. Never mind,” he said apologetically.
“Uh…no problem doctor. I was just headed home,” I added just in case he decided that he could use my help after all.
“OK, be safe,” he said before he turned and headed back from where he came.
I let out a deep sigh as I hurried into the elevator. After the elevator doors closed, I took a quick peek at Carmina. The swaying of the bag must have rocked her back to sleep. She looked so beautiful.
The doors opened on the main floor and I stepped out into the emergency room.
It was empty at that time of night, which wasn’t a good thing if Carmina woke up and started crying. I prayed that she wouldn’t.
I quickly snuck past while the emergency room doctor was occupied with a patient. Neither the doctor or patient even glanced my way.
I turned a few corners before I spotted the main entrance of the hospital. As soon as I saw it, I ran as fast as I could.
I didn’t stop running until I felt the cold cement on my bare feet.
I stopped briefly and realized that I had forgotten to put on my shoes.
Afraid that someone might be after me, I started running again. I didn’t get far before it started pouring down raining. At least the rain gave me a perfectly good reason to be running in case someone spotted me; them thinking that I was just trying to get out of the rain in a hurry.
When I was a safe distance away from the hospital, I attempted to wave down a cab.
It took about 15 minutes, but one finally stopped.
By that time I was soaking wet and silently hoping that the bag had kept Carmina safe from the rain. “Thank you,” I said to the cab driver before giving her directions to our house.
Wet, tired, desperate and cold; I was so relieved to be out of the hospital with Carmina that it never occurred to me that I had just committed a very serious crime.
