I took Carmina to the store just as she demanded.
“I want to go to the toy store,” she said as I approached the car.
“I need a dollar to ride the bouncer,” she ordered; never bothering to say please or thank you.
Carmina rode the bouncing ride at least five times.
I don’t believe she enjoyed anything about it, aside from the fact that she was forcing me to give her the money and stand there and wait for her.
“Okay, I’m ready to shop now,” she said when she was finally satisfied.
As soon as we were inside the toy store, Carmina picked out numerous toys; including toys that she already had. “I need that in case I lose the other one,” she explained when I reminded her of the duplicates.
“Ooh mommy…look at the Llama balloons!” She said as if they were the best things she’d ever seen.
I walked over to take a look and couldn’t believe the price, “Twenty five dollars for a balloon? That’s the type of thing that should be for a special birthday,” I said as I mentally calculated the price of the balloon and all of the other toys that Carmina had picked out. “We can buy it at another time.”
“But I want it now!” Carmina didn’t exactly scream, but her words were more forceful than even a scream could have been.
“I don’t have enough money,” I explained even though I knew logic wouldn’t work with her.
“You’d better figure it out or I’m going to scream right here…right now!”
“Carmina please…I’ll tell you what…” I said in the most cheerful voice that I could fake, in an attempt to excite her.
“What?” She didn’t look excited.
“How about if I buy it for you…but not today. I’ll buy it when you least expect it…like a surprise!”
“A surprise?” She didn’t look angry, so I hoped that she was buying into the whole surprise idea.
“Yeah a surprise…a very special one. It doesn’t even have to be on your birthday.”
She didn’t buy into it… “Ouch! Please help me!” She yelled instead, elevating her voice so that the store clerk could hear her.
“Carmina…please stop that,” I begged, hoping she would stop before the clerk came over.
She looked at me and yelled louder, “Okay…I’m sorry mommy! I won’t do it again!”
“What’s the problem?” The clerk asked hurrying over to us.
“She hit me,” Carmina said pointing to me.
“Shame on you!” The clerk exploded.
“I didn’t hit her, I swear,” I responded, but he couldn’t hear me over his own anger.
Carmina did nothing to help me out of the situation. She stood there calm, because she knew that this altercation would lead to her getting what she wanted, just like it always did with Nick.
“You terrible woman…I should go and call the cops on you right now. People like you should be thrown under the jail.”
“But I didn’t…” I said in a feeble attempt to stop him from making good on his threat.
“This beautiful child is a blessing…I can’t believe that you would ever hit her,” he continued.
Carmina finally came to my rescue…”Sir, please don’t throw my mommy in jail. She didn’t mean it…I don’t want the cops to arrest my mommy.”
“Are you sure? She has no business hitting you.”
“It was an accident. She didn’t mean to hit me,” she said; pouring on the sweetness.
“Well…she’s lucky to have such a pretty little girl like you. Go ahead and pick out something that you want…I’m sure your mommy would be happy to buy it for you.”
I couldn’t believe this guy’s audacity, but I realized that it’s not unusual when it comes to Carmina.
“Well…” Carmina said, as if she were in deep thought, “I really want one of those pretty Llama balloons.”
“Good choice,” the clerk said before he walked away.
“I want the blue one,” Carmina instructed, in a tone completely opposite the one she used with the clerk, once the clerk was out of earshot.
Carmina could control anyone, and I was in between it all; a collision waiting to happen.
My once loving Carmina was now like a little devil; able to mold everyone around her like clay…
…Mindless clay figures that were willing and able to do whatever she asked or believe whatever she said. I ended up buying everything that Carmina asked for and spent hundreds of dollars.
When we arrived home, she threw all of the new toys to the side and went to play with something else. She wasn’t even interested in the toys…she was only interested in my suffering.
Who had I brought home from that hospital? What had I done? Carmina had full control over everything. Whenever she wanted, she had the power to end my marriage, destroy my finances, take away my freedom…
And if she ever decided that she wanted to…she probably could probably end my very life with the blink of an eye.
