My police escort parked the car in front of the hospital and led me into the building.
He stopped and asked a nurse that was sitting at a desk for Carmina’slocation. After she told him, I followed him to intensive care.
It didn’t take us very long to find Nick and Carmina. Nick looked tense; sitting there next to Carmina…and Carmina was hooked up to an IV and a couple of machines.
Nick looked up as soon as I walked over.
The expression on his face made me very glad that the cop was still with me. I knew that Nick would hold back as long as the officer was there.
I averted my eyes from him long enough to get a real good look at Carmina. She appeared so sweet and innocent that for just one moment, I could see how everyone could be so charmed and obsessed with her. It reminded me of what I felt when I first saw her in the hospital seven years ago…
My thoughts were interrupted when the cop cleared his throat behind me, “Um, I guess I’ll be heading back to the station. Your daughter seems to be in good hands…she’s in my prayers.”
I didn’t want the cop to leave…in fact, I briefly thought about starting a commotion just so he’d have a reason to stay longer.
But there was no sense in prolonging the inevitable.
Nick and I stayed right where we were; staring at Carmina…until the sound of the cop’s footfalls disappeared completely down the hallway.
Nick didn’t miss a beat…as soon as he was sure the cop was gone he jumped up and was standing close to me before I even realized that he had moved. “What the hell Diane?”
“It wasn’t my fault Nick…I swear!”
Nick wasn’t trying to hear it, “So whose fault is it…a seven year-old child’s? Of course it’s your fault!”
“Nick…she just jumped into the street before I-”
Nick grabbed my elbow in a firm hand and squeezed… “Why were you at the police station?”
“Nick, you’re hurting me.” I snatched my arm away…which gave me time to try and formulate an answer that he’d accept.
There was no possible answer…and I had no idea what he’d do if I told him the truth. “I can’t tell you,” I replied.
“I can’t tell you…” Nick said in a mocking, high pitched tone. “Woman, you’d better tell me something,” he followed in his normal voice.
“Or what Nick? What are you going to do…hit me? Because you’ve already done worse.” Already being pushed into an emotional corner, I had no choice but to fight back for once.
Thrown off by my words, Nick held his arms out in anger…but he didn’t say anything right away.
“Done worse? What are you talking about…are you trying to turn this on me? Our daughter is laid up in a freaking hospital because her mother couldn’t keep her safe…but you wannatalk bad about me!?”
“I just-”
“Go home Diane…just…go home,” Nick appeared to be holding back. I couldn’t tell if it was physical or mental, but I knew that if I didn’t leave, whatever would come next would hurt…a lot.
I was terrified of his anger…Nick had never threatened me in such a way before. “Okay, okay,” I said backing away a step. “I’ll go.”
Hearing me say that I’d leave helped him to calm some, but he still had a long way to go. He’d probably never talk to me amicably again…not for a long time anyway.
Nick stood where he was and watched me leave; as the bridge between us began to crumble into disrepair. This was what Carmina meant when she said that I’d suffer for what I tried to do at the police station.
There was nothing I could do about it…she was still in control. I decided that the best place for me to be was home.
My car was still at the police station, so I was forced to take a taxi home.
As we neared my house, in the distance, I could see a lady and little girl walking down the street. “Keep straight,” I ordered the driver. For some reason, I felt the need to get a better view of them.
As we got closer, although I could only see the back of the girl, I felt something strange in my heart. There was something awkwardly familiar about the girl’s thick ponytails. They reminded me of mine when I was a little girl.
My heart skipped half a beat. “Let me out here!” I ordered; startling the taxi driver with my urgent tone.
