Eva led me to the same door that I had passed through so many times before…
“I’m guessing that this must have been your old bedroom,” she said after she opened the door and stepped in.
“Oh my god! It’s still furnished the same!” I said as I looked around; feeling as if I had stepped into a time machine. The room still had the same green paint… paint that I once hated so much. The border at the top of the walls matched the old quilt that was still on my old bed. I remembered my room as it was…
The border back then, also matched the curtains and was the same color as the border of the rug near my bed. In the corner of the room was my bookshelf and an old loveseat that momma later replaced with the chair that currently sat there. Near the window was my old desk where I spent countless hours writing in my dairy or doing homework. On the wall opposite my bed was my bureau, where I used to keep some of my stuffed animals…especially the ones that Nick had given me.
All of my stuffed animals were now gone. The room looked as if it had sat empty for a very long time.
Eva confirmed my suspicion, “I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten around to clearing up or dusting in here since I moved in. I just don’t have the energy that I used to have, but I’ll come in later and change that old bedspread. I’ve been intending to replace it…but we can go and buy-”
“It’s perfect Eva…just the way it is,” I interrupted; still lost in my memories.
“Are you sure? This was supposed to be a guest room, but it looks like you’ll be my first guest.”
“It’s just as I remember it…”I whispered just loud enough for her to hear me.
“Well…I guess I’ll leave you to it. Greg will be up with your bags in a moment.”
Eva left and closed the door softly behind her.
I felt glued to the spot where I stood…thinking of the many memories that this room still held for me.
I remembered the first time Nick had seen my bedroom…
Momma was still at work and Nick had come over to study for a history test. For some reason, he decided that he wanted to see my bedroom.
“So this is where you spend most of your time,” he said after racing up the stairs and entering my room with me chasing behind him. He laughed, “It’s not as girlie as I thought it would be.”
I ignored his little attempt at a joke. “Nick, you know we shouldn’t be up here. I’m not allowed to have anyone in my room when momma isn’t home.”
“I thought you said she doesn’t come home for at least two more hours.”
“I did, but we really should be studying,” I half begged; desperate to get him out of my room.
“We can study up here…you have a perfectly good desk and even a couch up here.”
I don’t know why I let Nick talk me into studying in my bedroom. I couldn’t even concentrate, because I thought I kept hearing momma coming up the steps.
Nick eventually put his book down. “I really do hate history,” he said.
“You know you have to pass this test,” I responded.
“If we don’t know this stuff by now, we won’t ever know it,” he answered.
“I guess you have a point,” I said, closing my book as well.
We sat there for a few moments, trying to decide what to say or do next.
“Why are you way over there? Come on over here,” Nick said after a few minutes.
Against my better judgment, I slid closer to him and he moved over; meeting me half way. He put his arm around my shoulder.
“See, this is nice,” Nick said.
“It is,” I answered feeling extremely nervous for some reason; hardly able to hear myself think over my own rapid heartbeat.
“Can I kiss you?” Nick asked.
At that point, I had forgotten all about being afraid that my mother would come home. I nodded and Nick responded by leaning in and kissing me on the lips.
Before long I was kissing him back. My mouth and tongue seemed to take over; automatically knowing just how to respond to Nick’s kisses.
We were so focused on the kisses and touches that neither of us heard my mother open my bedroom door.
I don’t know how long my mother stood there, waiting for us to notice her.
Finally, she slammed my bedroom door…
We both looked over, startled… and there she was, looking very unhappy. “Uh huh…” she said, shaking her head up and down slightly, putting all of her disappointment into those two sounds.
“Momma!” I said jumping up… “I didn’t hear you.”
“I bet you didn’t,” she said…her expression saying all the things that she didn’t say with words.
I was scared…very scared. I didn’t know how momma was going to react to me kissing a boy, in my bedroom… when I thought she was at work.
“Um…you know Nick,” I said in a weak voice…not sure what else to say.
“Yeah…I know Nick, but I also know that you and Nick better not be around here trying to make me a grandmamma too soon.” My mother didn’t yell, but she didn’t have to. Her face did all of the yelling for her.
“Um…no ma’am,” Nick said, finally speaking up. “Nothing like that going on. We just…I just-”
“-Was leaving!” Momma said, finishing his sentence; not caring what he was actually going to say.
“Yes ma’am,” Nick said.
“Diane… we’ll finish this later,” Momma said as she turned to leave my room.
“Okay, momma,” I answered quickly.
Nick turned to me, “I’m sorry-”
“Nick!” My mom called loudly from the hallway; expecting him to hurry up and follow her out of my room.
“Coming ma’am,” he said following quickly.
My mom may have made Nick leave, but she couldn’t take away the emotions and feelings from our kiss that I proceeded to replay in my mind. I knew then that I was already in love with him.
All these years later…both of them were gone from my life, but being in this room was comforting and in a way, brought them both back to me.
“Where do you want this?” Greg said, interrupting my thoughts. He was standing by the doorway holding my bags.
“Oh,” I said trying to clear the lingering thoughts and memories from my mind. “By the dresser is fine,” I answered after a moment.
He placed everything neatly in a stack, then hesitated as if he wanted to say something.
“Thank you,” I offered as he stood in place. His energy telling me that he had something on his mind.
I turned to face him. “It’s nice of your mother to allow me to stay here,” I said, just to break the silence.
“Yeah, well…she’s a very nice woman,” he answered; putting some extra meaning behind those words. I knew that his only intention was to make sure that his mother would be safe. I didn’t blame him at all.
He left it at that and finally left the room.
It had been a long, emotionally draining day for me. I knocked some of the dust from my old bedspread and decided to relax for a moment.
I couldn’t help but chuckle as I looked at the old chair at the end of the bed. After momma discovered Nick and I during our little make-out session, she replaced the love seat with a chair; thinking that it would deter any further sessions, since we couldn’t exactly sit next to each other anymore.
Little did she know…removing the loveseat didn’t deter us at all when she wasn’t around.
Those old memories, like friendly ghosts, stayed with me and kept me company throughout the night.
