The police didn’t even bother to cuff me…there was no way I was going to resist arrest. The older cop led me into an interrogation room and forced me into a chair. “Did you try to kill your daughter?” He asked with his back turned as if he was having a hard time facing me. …
I continued to check the newspaper daily during the seven years that Carmina was with us. I just couldn’t figure out why she was never reported missing or who she belonged to…and why weren’t they trying to find her? Why wasn’t I arrested and in prison for my crime? Just then, an idea came to…
By the time Carmina turned seven… …she was controlling everything I did. It was like trying to climb a fence with a vicious Pit-bull on the other side…watching my every move. Except in my life, Carmina was the Pit-Bull. One false move and she attacked. She used others to attack me as well…especially Nick. …
I took Carmina to the store just as she demanded. “I want to go to the toy store,” she said as I approached the car. “I need a dollar to ride the bouncer,” she ordered; never bothering to say please or thank you. Carmina rode the bouncing ride at least five times. I don’t believe…
At age 4, Carmina was a master of deception. She possessed a sweet innocence that would fade seamlessly into a cruel manipulation without warning. “Mommy! I made this for you!” My life was full of uncertainties, because I never knew what to expect with her. “Come on mommy! You have to try it…you’ll love it!”…
Nick’s love for Carmina was more like an obsession. He was protective of her and revered her more and more each day. Carmina’sfirst birthday was a month away, but Nick started planning and buying gifts for her six months before. In fact, every extra penny he had went to Carmina. He even stopped going away…
That knock never came… …and everyday I loved Carmina more and more. She became more beautiful and was a joy to be around. By the time she was 6 months old, she drew attention from everyone who saw her. Everyday, when the weather permitted, we took walks around town. And each time, people would walk…
Thirty minutes later, we pulled up in front of our house; just as the rain stopped. I paid the taxi driver and waited for him to pull off before taking Carmina out of the backpack. I entered the house and headed directly to the bedroom. The house was warm; a nice contrast to the cold…
A few hours later, I woke up. The hospital was quiet…too quiet. I sat up and put one bare foot on the floor. A chill went up my spine. I put the other foot on the floor and stood up for the first time since my baby was born. My epidural had worn off soon…
In my medication induced sleep, I dreamt of a fantasy-like future complete with a house full of joy, happy marriage and a picket fence. At around 7 the next morning, I was awakened by my ringing cell phone and my reality. I knew who was at the other end of the phone line without checking,…
