I remain silent the whole ride back to Del Sol, despite Miss Hillary’s attempts to get me to talk. Suddenly, the things that excited me on the way up feel meaningless…none of it matters anymore. Miss Hillary parks the car in my neighborhood and we get out. She stands there watching me for a while, then speaks…
Miss Hillary: Are you hungry?
Alida: …
Miss Hillary: Come on…let’s get something to eat before you go back home.
Miss Hillary enters the diner that’s next door to Ms. Fuller’s…but there are no tables inside. The hostess leads us to the one table they have available…outside next to the dirty pool. We sit down and silently read our menus.
Miss Hillary: Order anything you want…okay?
I’m not interested in eating so I put away the menu and stare out at nothing in particular.
Miss Hillary: You know that everything you’re feeling right now is okay, right?
Alida:…
Miss Hillary: I know it doesn’t feel very fair…you have every right to be sad and angry about that. I’m always available if you ever want to talk about it. Do you have any questions about any of it?
Alida: Why don’t the cops understand that mama didn’t mean to hurt that man?
Miss Hillary: Oh sweetheart…there’s more than just cops involved. Your mom’s case went to trial. There was a jury. They all saw the evidence and decided that she was guilty.
Alida: Then the jury is stupid and I hate them!
The waitress walks over to take our order. Miss Hillary orders a soda and a salad. I order a root beer float.
Miss Hillary: Is that all you’re getting? No food?
Alida: You said whatever I want.
Miss Hillary: *chuckles* You’re right…I did.
After Miss Hillary’s food and my float arrive…
Miss Hillary: Listen Alida…I know there’s not much I can say to make you feel better about all of this, but I can say that you’re in very good hands with Nadine Fuller. You know what she told me when we were outside talking?
Alida: No
Miss Hillary: She told me that you are a great kid…a smart girl, with a really good heart and that it’s a pleasure having you there.
Alida: *perks up a little* She did?
Miss Hillary: Yes…and she’s seen you protecting the other kids, especially Michael – like a big sister. I think they would all be very sad if you weren’t around anymore.
This time Miss Hillary’s words mean a lot to me. I find myself sitting up a bit taller. And when I think about it…I realize that I’d be a bit sad to say goodbye to Ms. Fuller and the other kids there as well.
By the time Miss Hillary finishes up her salad…I actually manage to keep a little smile on my face.
Miss Hillary walks to her car…and stands there, making sure that I make it next door safely. I enter the house right as Ms. Fuller is finishing up story time for the evening. She’s standing by the bookshelf putting the book on the shelf and Michael, Darwin and Raul are still sitting on the couch.
The things that she told Miss Hillary are still ringing around in my head. Her words are the nicest things anyone has ever said about me. And it makes me feel special and wanted.
Before I know it…Ms. Fuller has her arms open and I immediately walk into them…allowing her to hold me close. Tears…seemingly with a mind of their own fill my eyes and I begin to cry into her shoulder. She slowly rubs my back…content to hold me for as long as I need to be held.
Ms. Fuller: It’s going to be okay Alida. I’m here for you…always!
It’s at that moment that I begin to recognize Ms. Fuller as my 2nd mother…and I decide that from then on, she’d be Mama Nadine.
(Generation 1 Chapter Summaries)
