Nadine sits on the front patio long after Robert Beasley has left. She thinks back to the time before she ran the group home…back to a vacation that she and Robert took to Selvadorado, where she spent several months recuperating after the incident that left a permanent scar on her face and subsequently ended her career. Just thinking about that time makes her long-healed scar burn just a bit – or maybe it’s all in her mind…
Sounds of the television fill the room, accompanied by Robert’s voice speaking in hushed tones right outside the door. She can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth…until they stop suddenly right by an opened window, allowing her to hear snippets of his conversation.
Robert: I know…I know. I realize that, but she says she’s not ready yet. *pauses to listen* I’m doing my best here, but it may serve us all more if we give her time to heal. *pauses to listen* Yes…there’s a scar, but that’s to be expected. I think the emotional scars are the biggest hurdles here.
The television captures her attention.
TV Announcer: It’s been 6 months since the stage accident that critically injured Nadine Fuller. Fans everywhere are wondering what’s happened to the beloved singer and actress as they await her comeback.
The screen flashes to footage showing her on the stage as the prop falls and lands on her. The video is censored for younger audiences, but it’s like she can see and feel the whole thing all over again. Nothing can ever blur that moment from her mind.
TV Announcer: It was at Plumbob Studios that a stage prop fell and –
She immediately flips to a different station.
There’s news about a protest. It’s much safer viewing than seeing her own body being struck and crushed over and over again.
She looks down at her hands…her attention captured by the large diamond on her left ring finger that sparkles under the lights coming from the fixture above her. She wiggles the finger around. When did the ring become so heavy?
The news story shows footage of the slowly escalating protest. It distracts her from the ring and Robert’s conversation. Are their protest signs as heavy?
Robert’s voice becomes elevated, full of agitation…
Robert: Listen…I’ll do what I can. Don’t call me, I’ll call you when things have changed.
Robert ends the call and stands in the same spot for a while…visibly heated from the conversation. He takes a few breaths to help him regain his composure. Then he turns, walks through the door, stopping right by the couch next to her. She can almost hear the entire conversation in her head before he’s even opened his mouth.
Robert: I bet you can guess who that was.
Nadine: I wasn’t really listening.
The corner of her mouth twitches a bit as it releases the small white lie. She knows exactly who it was and what he wanted. Robert fills her in anyway…
Robert: It was Larry again…*chuckles to lighten the moment* that guy never stops! *clears his throat* He has this show coming up…a big showcase and –
Nadine: *quietly* He wants me to perform.
Robert: Yeah…a lot of people do.
Nadine: Including you…
Her statement hangs there…unfinished like a severed pinkie hanging on by a nerve.
Robert: I can’t lie…I think if we want to have any hope of you re-jump starting your career – this would be a good way of doing it. It’s a month away…giving you plenty of time to –
Nadine: *interrupts* I’m not ready. I don’t want to do it.
Robert doesn’t respond, but his expression says everything that’s on his mind. He’s tried to not push her into performing again, but she can see the frustration bubbling just beneath the mask of patience that he’s been wearing for the last 6 months. She’s sure that it would only take one small push before it erupts out of him. It almost makes her afraid to even touch him. She doesn’t want it to spill out and drown her.
But just like every other time she’s turned down an opportunity that he’s presented to her…he turns, walks away, and retreats into his own thoughts as if he’s the victim of some type of mistreatment. Never mind that she’s the one that would be in the spotlight…trying to rekindle the magic that her voice once held while showcasing the large scar that runs down almost half of the right side of her face.
She watches him as he sits down at the table…moping like a disappointed 10-year-old. She flips the channel once more and turns her attention to a commercial announcement…something about the foster care system.
The room is thick with tension…making it hard to breathe. She gets up and walks towards the big red door. She needs fresh air.
Robert: Where are you going?
She pauses and glances over her shoulder, offering him one quick word…
Nadine: Out
…before she opens the door and spills out onto the front patio and into the rain.
It’s been raining for days now. So much rain that she’s learned to ignore it…barely hearing it while in the house. The sound of it fades into the background like white noise. This is the first time she’s ventured out into it. But feeling it on her skin makes her wonder why she’s avoided it for so long.
She steps away from the house hoping that it will free her from negative emotions…that the clean air will filter her from it all, but guilt has insisted on tagging along. She turns and looks back at the house…knowing that Robert is probably in there cursing himself; wondering if bringing up the performance will be the straw that breaks her. She could easily go in there and reassure him, but she’s not in a hurry to do that. Selfishly she’ll allow him to stew in it for a bit longer.
She walks as far as she dares…not wanting to risk getting lost or having Robert needlessly send out a search party for her. These past few months…he’s taken on the role of her protector and caretaker. He hasn’t left her side once…which has caused him to lose clients and has severed some of the business relationships that he’s built up over the years. He has sacrificed so much for her. No need to punish him more than this situation already has.
She circles around and heads back to the house, swatting relentless bugs on the way. She intends to go back inside, but instead, she stops at the pool next to the house. She stares at her shadow, a featureless silhouette, in the water as large raindrops hit the surface causing it to ripple.
It doesn’t take long before Robert comes looking for her. He walks out the door, his eyes searching until he spots her. He hurries over with an apology already on his lips.
Robert: Dini…I’m so sorry. F&*k Larry! We’ll stay here for a year if you need to. You never have to go up on a stage again if you don’t want to.
Here he is…willing to give up something else for her. She makes a decision…for him this time. As repayment for all he’s done for her. She leans over and kisses him on the cheek. A small appreciative gesture.
Nadine: No…I’ll do it. I’ll do the performance.
Robert: A-are you sure? If you need more time –
She gently rubs his cheek to quiet him…
Nadine: I’m sure. It’s time for us to go back home.
She can tell that he’s trying his best to hide just how happy her decision has made him. The smile is there…hiding within his cheeks and betraying him by peeking out through his eyes. He looks up at the sky…
Robert: It has finally stopped raining.
Her eyes follow his to the sky. She hadn’t even noticed…but then again, she hasn’t been noticing a lot of things lately.
Robert: Maybe we can take a tour…you know of the jungle before we leave. Or we can head into town – to get something to eat.
They’ve practically lived as hermits these past few months. The only contact being a delivery person here and there bringing them food and supplies. They’ve paid generously for that level of privacy. Even here in Selvadorado, she knows that if she’s seen by anyone who recognizes her… a tour guide, a waiter, random tourist – she’ll risk the paparazzi getting wind of it. Before she knows it…there would be a swarm of cameras and flashing lights outside of their bungalow all through the day and night, desperate to get just one picture of her.
Nadine: We could do that…or we could stay here, in bed…
Intimacy between them has been almost nonexistent. She knows that bringing it up will instantly distract him from any mention of going to town.
Robert: Yeah…if you’re sure.
She actually manages a smile.
Nadine: I’m sure!
Robert again tries to hide his true feelings…but again – he’s no good at it. She watches him as he takes the stairs…a slight bounce to his gait. She follows him to the bedroom, where he undresses slowly – even taking the time to tie his hair back…giving her a few moments to make sure she’s ready.
She strips down to her underwear and lies back on the bed. He walks over, also in his underwear, and joins her. He’s been so patient, but now he freely reveals his desire for her. She never thought he’d still look at her that way, but he does.
Robert: I want you so much Dini. I’ve missed this…
She wants to say the same thing, but she can’t. She’s not quite there yet. But she allows him to pull her into to arms.
After woohoo…Robert falls asleep. She lies there in his arms for a while, waiting to drift off as well, but sleep completely eludes her. She gives up trying and quietly climbs out of bed…careful not to wake him.
She’s drawn to the mirror at the end of the bed. Her reflection is something she’s been avoiding since the accident. She’s even resorted to turning her back to the mirror when brushing her teeth. But it’s time to see what Robert has been seeing…what everyone else will see when she steps up on a stage again.
If Robert can see past the scar and still love her…maybe she can too. Maybe her fans will. Maybe it doesn’t have to define her. Maybe she can still manage a singing career. Maybe the other endorsements…the commercials, the movie roles will stop, but there’s nothing wrong with her voice. She’s still a singer. She can still be a star, maybe…
Nadine Fuller Short Story – Part Summaries
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