I hurry out of the house before Roman has a chance to show up. If I saw his face, I know I’d be tempted to break it.
It’s a bit too hot to spend much time outside, so I head to the lounge and order something to eat.
I order fries with extra ketchup and take a seat at a nearby table. The last time I was at the lounge, I was with Q. In fact, every time I’ve been to the lounge…it was with Q. This was never just my spot…it’s our spot and I have to concede that I don’t want to be here without him. I pull out my cell phone and dial him up…
Alida: *on the phone* I’m ready to talk. Can you meet me at the Bubble Lounge?
Meanwhile…at home, Michelle meets with her acting group, which includes her former lover, Roman. Also in the group are fellow actors Chester and Venessa…along with director/actor Tamati. Tamati is Michelle’s chosen partner for a romance scene.
Anyone watching this love scene can immediately tell that it isn’t just a performance. There’s definitely some chemistry there. Michelle and Tamati realize it too as they take a bow.
I sit down at one of the bubble machines feeling extremely anxious…longing to stick the nozzle in my mouth and blow a few bubbles as I wait, but I’m not sure if it would be safe in my condition. Luckily Q arrives before I give in to temptation.
Quincy: Hi…
I’m so glad to see him. Just having him there confirms that not taking this step would have been a big mistake. I want to hug him, but I also don’t want my big belly to give me away again. I remain seated.
Alida: Hi…
Q sits down on the pillows across from me.
Quincy: You wanted to talk?
Alida: Yeah…I have something I need to tell you.
I scoot to the cushions closer to him to avoid having to talk loud over the music coming from the jukebox.
Alida: Umm…I don’t really know how to say this, but –
I pause, searching his face for any clues that he might still be angry with me. If he is…I might not be able to do this.
His expression is intense, not soft, but not exactly irked either. I continue…
Alida: Ummm, I found out – this morning…that I’m pregnant. I’m – uh …we’re having a baby.
Q’s eyes narrow, as if he’s trying to decide if I’m playing a joke on him. It adds to my nervousness, so I keep talking.
Alida: I debated on whether I was going to tell you. Whether I even wanted to keep the baby, but I thought you should know either way….
Q finally becomes animated. I guess what I just said turned on the agitation switch in his brain.
Quincy: You debated on whether or not you were going to tell me? Why the heck wouldn’t you tell me about our baby?
Alida: You were mad at me…and I just didn’t know if this is what you would want, you know – with me.
Q gets up and reaches for my hand to help me up.
Quincy: Come with me ma…we have some serious talking to do. Over where we have more privacy…
I follow Q over to the couch in the farthest corner of the lounge.
Alida: Why don’t you seem very surprised about the baby?
Quincy: We didn’t exactly do anything to avoid having a baby, did we?
Alida: …I guess not.
Quincy: *scoots closer to me* I need you to understand something. I love you…and anything that has to do with you – I want to be a part of. I want us to raise this baby together. But I need you to keep it real with me. I want to be in a relationship with you…not a mystery. If we’re going to work…I don’t wanna always be guessing who you are.
I lean into him…allowing him to pull me closer. Lord knows that if I’m going to open up to him…I need to feel him close to me. It’s the only way I’ll be brave enough to go through with it.
Alida: I love you too Q. But…I wasn’t raised the way you were. My past is a lot different.
Quincy: So what? …Do you think I’ll love you any less because of where you’re from?
That’s exactly what I thought, but I don’t tell him that.
I look Q in the eye and begin telling him my story…
Alida: I was raised in a group home in Mirage Park…the poorest neighborhood in Del Sol Valley. My foster mom’s name is Nadine Fuller, but we call her Mama Nadine. Michelle is my foster sister. My mom went to prison when I was young. She was a prostitute and one night a guy attacked her. As she tried to defend herself…he ended up dead. She served 20 years for murder.
Q listens closely as I tell him about Raul, Claudia, and my other foster siblings. I talk to him about aging out of foster care and how I thought I was going to be homeless until I ended up moving to Strangerville. I explain how Michelle and I decided to change our names to give ourselves a fresh start. I also tell him about seeing my mom again for the first time since I was a child.
Alida: The other day…when I had to leave your house suddenly – I lied when I said that I left because Michelle was having a personal problem. It was my mother. She suddenly showed up at my house demanding that I help her with a place to stay. She even suggested that I use you to help me get a bigger place.
Quincy: Seriously? What did you tell her?
Alida: I basically told her to f&*k off.
Quincy: *impressed* That’s brave ma…
Alida: Not really…I barely know her. I was only allowed to visit her once while she was in jail.
Surprisingly enough…the more I talk, the lighter I feel. It’s amazing what keeping secrets does to you mentally. It weighs you down…and I’m feeling heavy enough with this baby.
Alida: Now can you see why I didn’t want to tell you? I can just imagine what your parents will think of me.
Quincy: I’m not worried about my parents. What’s happened to you is not your fault. But the fact that you survived it…that’s saying a lot ma.
I’m relieved to hear that. Q once again helps me up.
Q takes my hands. I stop him before he can say anything…
Alida: You’re not gonna propose or anything are you? I not gonna get married just because we’re having a baby.
Quincy: *chuckles* No…I wasn’t about to propose. If I did…it would be a lot more special than this. I – I just wanted you to know that I want this baby…and I want you. I know that you are working on building yourself up on your own, and I respect that but I’d like to be a part of it. Maybe we can build a life together. I’m asking you to move in with me…but when you’re ready.
It’s true that the baby would have more room to play and grow at Q’s, but there’s a lot more to consider.
Alida: What about Michelle? I can’t just leave her behind.
Quincy: I know…I was thinking about that. Maybe you can talk to her about it. It doesn’t have to happen right away. I just want you to think about it.
Alida: Yeah…okay
There’s one more thing that I’ve been keeping from Q. I’m thinking now’s the time to reveal that too.
Alida: *amused* Wanna see how the other half lives?
Quincy: What?
I guess he didn’t get my attempt at a joke…
Alida: Are you ready to see my house?
Quincy: Yeah, of course
(Generation 1a Chapter Summaries)
