Banks Dynasty – Day 11.2 (Part 1)

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Grief deprives me of my sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I think of Gran lying there on the ground, lifeless. I could live a thousand years and never forget that scene. And the colors…I never want to feel those colors again.

There’s no use in trying to sleep right now, so I get up and head to the kitchen for something to eat. I feel like I have no appetite, but this baby has my stomach twisted in a knot that only food can satisfy.

Gran.

I think about her as I search the refrigerator for food. All Gran wanted was for me to go to school, get my degree, and be successful. But I had to do things my way. She could have died feeling proud of me, but instead, she passed worried about her granddaughter being unmarried and uneducated with a baby on the way. It’s a heavy burden to carry…and she took it to her grave.

I push food around my plate for almost an hour before I give up and go back to bed, praying that sleep gives me the reprieve that I need.

Alida, Quincy jr. and a now teenaged Merit arrive in Sulani first thing in the morning, after catching a red-eye as soon as they heard the news. Quincy Sr. opens the door.

Quincy Jr.: We got here as soon as we could.

After sharing hugs…

Alida: I’m so sorry, pop. How did it happen?

Quincy Sr.: She passed in front of Peri. They stayed up to do some knitting. The next thing I know, I hear Peri’s cries.

Quincy Jr.: Oh, wow. Is Peri okay?

Quincy Sr.: I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since she went to bed last night.

Alida and Q Jr. worry about their daughter.

Q Sr. leads everyone inside.

Quincy Sr.: Make yourselves at home. I’m sorry that I’m not feeling very hospitable. That was always more your mother’s arena.

Quincy Jr.: Thanks, pop. But don’t worry about us. We’re here for you.

Quincy Sr.: Thanks, son.

Alida could use something to eat, so she gets up to check the refrigerator. She feels terrible to have lost Alice, although they sometimes didn’t get along. And unlike what Q Sr. believes, Alice certainly wasn’t always hospitable, especially towards her. But now is not the time to dwell on that.

I snap awake when I hear my parents’ voices. I should have known that they’d show up after hearing the bad news. I thought I’d have a bit more time to figure out how to tell them about my pregnancy, but I’m out of time. They’ll know as soon as they lay eyes on me.

It feels as if my belly has protruded even more overnight. I stand in the mirror and attempt to suck it in, but there’s no use. I definitely can’t go out there in this robe. I might as well just plaster a large sign on my forehead. Maybe a very loose blouse will do the trick.

I change into the loosest dress that I own, but my belly still rebels against the fabric. Hiding this baby is out of the question. It’ll feel like facing a firing squad, but I have no choice but to see my parents. Before I can, I rush to the bathroom with a bout of nausea. Either it’s nerves or just normal pregnancy morning sickness. Whatever it is, I feel even worse knowing that now is the time to face the inevitable.

I step out into the front room and see my parents for the first time in what feels like ages. And aging is precisely what they’ve done. My dad’s hair is highlighted in gray, and no amount of make-up can hide the wrinkles that have made a home around my mom’s eyes. One day, I’ll lose them just as I’ve lost gran.

Ma hurries over as soon as she spots me. She pulls me into her arms, seeing only me, her daughter…not the disappointment of the situation.

Alida: Oh, Peri…we’ve missed you so much.