I sit down and eat my dinner across from Wild. She glances over at me, deciphering my mood immediately.
Wildflower: You need to let him go.
Prosperity: I don’t have him.
Wildflower: And you never will.
Wild’s words have me shook. I try to come up with a million reasons why she’s wrong. In the end, I concede.
Prosperity: You’re right. But I don’t know how. Even when I try to back away, there’s a stronger part of me that pulls me back to him.
Wildflower: And it’s making you unhappy. A relationship should feed you, make you feel good.
Prosperity: *willful* It’s not a relationship…and it does feel good.
Wildflower: But only for a moment.
There’s nothing left to say because I know Wild is right. I need to back away from my involvement with Craig. The woohoo is good, but that’s all there is. Now I’m left conflicted, and my relationship with Byron sits in ruins, although he doesn’t know it yet.
As I brush my teeth and get ready for bed, the truth is right there in front of me. I can see it for what it is…
…but I continue to bob and weave in avoidance, shielding my eyes from it. I spot Craig returning from the beach. I wait until everyone else has entered their tents for the night, and I make my way over to his. He doesn’t even seem surprised when I unzip his tent and step in.
After woohoo, he turns his back to me and curls up for sleep. There’s no kissing, no cuddling, no intimacy. I lay there next to him, staring up at the roof of the tent, no longer able to deny the fundamental truth that being with him does nothing for me. There will never be an “us,” and I’m wasting my time fooling myself into thinking that what we’re doing is enough to sustain either of us for long. He’s right…he’s been right all along. We can’t keep doing this.
I replace my clothing and return to my tent before everyone else wakes up.
(Generation 2 Chapter Summaries)
