Sleep has eluded me. The bright, vibrant colors that have painted my moods since birth have settled into a dull null, and I don’t know if I can keep going like this. Kai deserves the best version of me, and I do too. I call up the sadness hotline and speak to a grief counselor for hours.
I manage to get some sleep. But it’s a roller coaster version of it – the kind where you drift in and out of unconsciousness until you eventually fall in so deep that you’re practically dead to the world. That’s how I am when Kai comes into my room to wake me.
Kai: My tummy needs food, mama.
I slowly crawl out of bed and shake the grips of drowsiness away as best I can before I get up and follow Kai into the front room.
Kai gets his breakfast, and afterward, I take a quick shower and dress for the day. As I pass my bathroom mirror, I pause and stare at myself – completely unhappy with what I see. I look like a mom. The boring, frumpy type of mom that I never want to be. I once criticized my mom for falling into the boring mom patterns of sameness…and now here she is – staring at me in the mirror.
I look myself over, wondering what I can do to change it. I’ve gained a lot of weight after having Kai, but I’m okay with that. My new curves are not a problem. My sweater is nice. It attracts a lot of lint, but the color is pretty. Is it my face, my hair? I need to do something and quick.
I figure it would help if Kai and I got out of the house. Maybe I can gain a new perspective and figure out how I became basic and boring. I bundle us up in our warmest clothes, and we head out the door, but there’s nothing to do in Britechester. Windenburg is just a skip and a jump away, so I grab my phone and call up rideshare. It takes us about 20 minutes to pull up at a small park in town. It’s not the most exciting place to be, but Kai seems happy.
It doesn’t take long for me to remember that I forgot to eat breakfast. My stomach feels like it’s turning inside out. Now I see why Kai is always saying that his ‘tummy needs food’. I grab a sandwich out of the nearby vending machine and sit down on a bench to eat it while Kai plays on the playground.
Amazed at Kai’s developing imagination, I pretend to be a pirate while he steers the ship in an adventure that somehow involves flying in the air and cats. After he grows bored of that, he moves on.
Prosperity: Where to now?
Kai makes his way to the ball pit just as I spot a familiar face. I shared a tent with Piper at the conservation camp in Sulani, and now she walks by me without even speaking. Maybe she doesn’t recognize me.
Prosperity: Hey, Piper! Are you just going to pass by without saying hello?
She stops walking, allowing me to catch up and step in front of her.
Piper: Oh hi, Peri. I didn’t see you there.
I can tell from her tone that she’s lying, but I let it slide.
Prosperity: You left the camp suddenly. What happened?
Piper: It was just time for me to go. That’s all.
I know for sure that she’s lying now because I know that she was the one spreading rumors about Craig and me. I also once overheard her arguing with Wild about me. I guess that Piper was jealous of my relationship with Wild and Craig. I decide not to bring any of that up. It’s in the past, and I’m content to leave it there.
Prosperity: What are you doing now?
Piper: I returned to Foxbury and continuing my studies. How about you?
Prosperity: I start classes at Britechester on Monday. Oh…and I’m a mom now. I have a little boy.
Kai walks over right on cue.
Kai: Mama, can you play with me?
Piper looks down, and I see recognition written all over her face. She knows exactly who Kai’s father is. Before she can say anything about it, Kai walks up to her with an expression that I’m very familiar with. Piper looks down at him, confused.
Prosperity: This is my son, Kai.
Piper: Uh, what does he want?
Prosperity: He wants to hug you. He hugs everybody.
I can tell from her body language that Piper isn’t comfortable around kids, but no one can resist Kai’s big bright eyes and his sweet face. Even she gives in to his need to hug.
(Generation 2 Chapter Summaries)
