But, it’s not just grief. I’m also angry at myself for caring about the death of a man who didn’t give a shit about me. Why am I allowing him to ruin my day?
We leave the theatre, and Me-Me leads the way to the shops of Finchwich Village. She wants to do some window shopping, but my mind is miles away by now.
The next thing I know, my head is in my hands, and tears flow. I try to stop them, but I can’t – the dam has broken.
Me-Me hurries over with alarm ringing all through her voice.
Melisa: Kai! What’s going on?
Moments later, I’m in her arms, crying into her shoulder. There’s vulnerability, anger, embarrassment, but having Me-Me close to me helps to calm the storm – at least enough so that I’m able to speak.
Kai: I didn’t want to tell you this and ruin our date, but my dad died today.
Melisa: What? Why wouldn’t you tell me that?
Kai: Because he’s not worth mentioning, and he’s not worth crying over. What the hell is wrong with me?
Melisa: He’s still your dad, Kaby.
Kai: Yeah, but he never wanted me, and I don’t know why. Now I’ll never really know. *short pause* Maybe I’m the one that isn’t worth it.
Melisa: Your mom never turned her back on you. Neither did your grandparents or your uncle. And I won’t turn my back either. Why? Because you are worth it.
Kai: How do you know? What if I do something to mess this up?
Melisa: Kai, I’m not going anywhere. I want you. I don’t see that going away.
We briefly consider returning to Britechester, back to our rooms, but I don’t want to be alone. And I think we both want a chance to explore our strong desire for one another. So we end up in front of the bed & breakfast.
Melisa: It’s so pink. I love it.
Because there was no fair today, there are not many people in town, so rooms are available. We rent the biggest one. Me-Me is just as happy with the inside as she was with the exterior.
I barely notice the décor as I walk in and sit down on the ottoman at the end of the bed.
Kai: I wish this would stop happening. I hate seeing the pity in your eyes.
Melisa: I don’t pity you, Kaby. I’m just – sad with you.
I don’t want that either. I like seeing the way her eyes are light and twinkly when she’s happy. But right now, they are deep pools of dark grey holding tears that she’s doing her best to hold back. And it’s my fault.
Kai: Will it be like this all the time? Brief periods of happiness before the world comes crashing down again.
Melisa: We can make our happiness – even through the darkness.
Kai: But how?
Melisa: Well, we can start by dimming these lights.
Kai: I want you, Me-Me. I want this, but I want to be at my best our first time.
Melisa: I don’t want your best. I love you as you are.
My heart is pounding as I comprehend her words. Love me?
Kai: I love you, too.
We kiss to seal our affection for one another. The next thing we know, I have removed her shirt, and she has removed mine. She’s wearing a corset in my favorite color. Did she plan for this moment, too?
We’re alone, with no fear of interruption. We have all night, and I don’t want to rush. So we stand, and I rub her shoulders as I study the hooks on her corset. There are way too many, and I don’t want to break anything.
I’m anxious to know what’s inside package number two, so I take off her skirt. When I see what she has underneath…are they line panties? I don’t know, but I’m instantly lightheaded. I can’t wait a minute longer. I’ve been planning this out in my head forever, and I want her so bad that I can’t even think straight. Our mouths are once again connected, exploring. I pick her up and carry her to the bed without even slowing down. I love her – more than anything, and I’ve been waiting for this moment to show her how much. I almost forget to put on protection, but I slip it on at the last moment.
♪ Don’t wanna get ahead of myself
Feeling things I’ve never felt
It’s kinda hard for me to explain
Her personality and everything
Brings me to my knees, oh…
She shines me up like gold on my arm
I wanna take it slow but it’s so hard
I love to see her face in daylight
It’s more than just our bodies at night
But she’s really tempting me, oh…
Do you think I’m being foolish if I don’t rush in?♫ (Source)
(Generation 3 Chapter Summaries)
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