Ma greets me with a long tight hug when she joins us in the kitchen moments later. It’s one of those hugs you give someone before leaving for a long trip. I don’t question her, but it feels special somehow. I take Dray out of his high chair and change him into his clothes. My attention again turns to her as she grabs a bowl for breakfast. Something is off. What’s going on with her? With ma, there’s no telling.
As soon as she’s finished her breakfast, ma follows me to the cow shed with Dray beside her. She sets up her easel and stands Dray right where she can get a good look at him.
Prosperity: Stand right here for me, sweet baby.
Dray stays there just long enough for ma to complete a quick sketch.
Then Dray turns his attention to me, watching as I milk the cow.
Kai: Want to know what I’m doing? I grab the cow here and squeeze. See how the milk comes out?
This is an opportunity to teach Dray the ways of the farm, starting with milking Cocoa Puffs and ending with how to care for the chickens and prepare the ground for the next growing season.
After I’ve harvested some of our larger crops, I prepare to leave for the market. Ma walks over, and I ask her to join us. She seems pleased and grateful for the invite.
We make our way to Finchwick, and my first stop is the grocery stall where I sell the large, but not very impressive, crops we grew this fall. After Miss Carrie Lee pays me, I give her most of the money back to pay for a few staples to restock the fridge.
Meanwhile, ma and Drake walk over to a nearby bench to wait for me. I head over as soon as I’ve thanked Miss Carrie and stepped away.
I sit down as Dray takes a turn and walks away. I see him, but my focus is on ma. She has a strange expression on her face, so I know that she wants to talk.
Kai: Is everything okay?
Prosperity: Son, I need you to help me with something.
My first thought is, ‘here we go’ because it’s a serious tone that I’m very familiar with and usually ends with her asking me to do something I don’t want to do – or fussing at me for something I already did.
Kai: What is it, ma?
Prosperity: I need you to help prepare the boys for my death.
Ma ignores the shocked expression on my face and continues.
Prosperity: Drake will be okay, he won’t remember me anyway, but you’ll have to prepare Wade and Mason.
My stomach sinks from the weight of her words.
Kai: What? Ma – you’re not dying anytime soon.
But I realize that I’m just in denial. I’ve noticed that ma seems more tired lately. She sleeps in a lot longer than she used to. She doesn’t teach classes at the Art Center very often, and her hands move slower when she paints. I’m overwhelmed by the truth of it all and place my head in my hands in a last-ditch effort to shield myself from it. What will I do without ma? She was all I had for so long.
Ma was never one to mince words and doesn’t intend to start now.
Prosperity: That’s not true, and you know it, Kai. I’m old and old people die. There’s no denying it. I don’t want it to be an immense unexpected shock for the boys. I want to start preparing them now.
I swallow my sorrow and sit up straight. Ma’s right and I understand what she’s trying to do. I was devastated by witnessing my gran Alida dying, and my Pop-Pop’s death was just as shocking. To me – they were invincible, capable of living forever, then suddenly – they were gone. I must protect my boys from that deep, unsteady feeling of sudden loss.
My thoughts are interrupted by a shrill, unkind voice.
Agnes: Little boy! Little boy – stop that immediately! Where are your parents?
I look over and see Dray standing in the middle of the square, pouring paint all over the ground. I stand up right away.
Kai: Oh no! Drake!
I resist the urge to run to him immediately because I have unfinished business with ma. Instead, I take a moment to confirm that I’ve heard her.
Kai: *to Peri* Okay, ma, I’ll do it. But I have to get Dray.
Ma looks over and sees what’s about to unfold between Dray and grumpy old Agnes Crumplebottom.
Prosperity: Yeah, get him before that dreadful woman gets a hold of him.
I rush over in as few steps as I can manage.
Kai: Dray! What are you doing? Where did you get that paint?
Drake: Pwetty like ganny
Kai: *frustrated* What?
I’m unsure what he’s saying, and I feel anger toward my child rising for the first time. It hits me hard, and I don’t like the feeling. I take a deep breath, step over to the grocer to borrow a mop, and then return to Dray feeling much calmer.
Mopping helps to ease my frustration further as I realize that this is not Dray’s fault. I should have been watching him closely. I also recognize that my anger is misplaced – Dray isn’t the source. Instead, I’m angry at my newfound situation and the burden of my task. Ma wants me to prepare the boys for her inevitable death, but how am I supposed to prepare them for something I’ll never be fully ready for myself?
(Generation 3 Chapter Summaries)
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