Vee swooped in to fill the holes left in my life by everything that had happened to me since my transformation.
I was close to feeling complete and was finally ready to leave the house and take chances with this new fate forced upon me.
Having him there made all the difference, but there was still so much of me I couldn’t give him – so much I couldn’t tell him.
How could I have made him understand that I could only see him at night? How could I have told him that I drank blood and that I may have killed a man?
But it seems I wasn’t the only one leaving blanks within our conversations.
We sat and talked for hours, saying word after word with lots of whos, whats, whens, wheres, and whys left out in between.
We talked about everything, but now that I think back, we said nothing at all.
It’s strange, but at that time, I didn’t need much more than that.
Just hearing his voice began to clear the fog that clouded my emotions. Finally, I was starting to remember how to feel again.
Having him there with me – taking me in with those eyes and warming up my night with his slight smiles…it was enough.
And when he took my hands into his own – for the first time in a long time, I longed for something other than blood.
I wanted to be close to him intimately, something I didn’t think I’d ever desire again.
And I could tell he wanted me, too. He didn’t have to verbalize it. It was the way he whispered sweet words in my ear as he held me tight under the street lamp near the river.
I felt safe, secure, and capable of being loved again.
I wasn’t afraid. I was willing to let him have complete control of my heart.
But still – these emotions were hampered by all the things I couldn’t tell him.
How could I fall entirely if I had to keep so much of myself under lock and key? Because if he knew the truth about me – I knew that I’d again be facing this life alone.
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