Another celebrity steps up to accept their award. I’m barely listening at this point. I just want to finish my drink.
Maia: Are you okay, Dub? You haven’t been yourself the entire time we’ve been here.
I want to tell her the truth, but I feel bad that I can’t shake my sour mood. Maybe I can fake it until I make it.
Wade: I’m okay. This place is just a bit different than I expected.
Maia: Different, how?
I guess she’s not just going to let it go. I might as well be honest.
Wade: I’m not sure how to fully explain it.
Maia: Let me guess. You don’t feel good enough like you haven’t earned the right to be here. Or maybe you feel like you’re fooling everyone into seeing more in you than what’s there. And you’re afraid that everyone will realize it at any minute and call you out on it.
That pretty much nailed it.
Wade: All of the above. But how do you know?
Maia: I was describing how I feel every single day.
Every day? Is she serious? But now that I think about it, I often feel that way too. It didn’t just start today. Sometimes, I feel like I’m in some play, acting out the best parts of my life but hiding who I truly am inside.
Wade: But – how do you deal with it? How do you get past it?
Maia: You have to replace negative thoughts with better ones. Don’t let them take over your mind.
I haven’t succeeded much with that today. But maybe I can find something to help me clear my thoughts.
Wade: You’re right.
There’s no sense sitting here stewing in my doubts.
Wade: Do you want to check this place out?
More awards are announced and handed out while Maia and I go to the other side of the lounge. My eyes land on the bubble blower, something I have never tried before. I sit down, choose a flavor, and grab a nozzle. But Maia doesn’t join me.
Maia: Are you sure you want to do that? Believe me, it won’t help.
Wade: I just wanted to try it. Isn’t it what they do here in the valley?
Maia sits down, but ignores the nozzle in front of her.
Maia: Some. But when you’re already doubting yourself, the last thing you need is something that alters your already skewed thinking.
Dang. Why does she have to lay the wisdom on me now? But she’s right. It’s a path I probably shouldn’t go down.
Wade: Sorry – this isn’t me. Let’s watch the ceremony.
As Noelle announces another award, we step in front of the stage with the rest of the crowd. There are many celebrities there, but nobody I really recognize or care to approach. Instead, I turn to Maia and give her a single red rose.
Wade: Thanks for talking some sense into me.
Maia takes the rose, but then her entire face freezes in shock. Did I do something wrong again?
Wade: You okay?
Maia: They just called your name.
Wade: They – what?
Maia: Your name! They called your name Dub. You won!
The path to the stage clears. I turn and face it as a cameraman snaps a picture, practically blinding me in his light. I can hear Noelle suddenly speaking directly to me as I stand there with my feet frozen, but her words seem to reach my comprehension slowly.
Noelle: Would you like to accept this award?
I don’t know how I got there, but suddenly, I’m on the stage, standing in front of a mic, holding a trophy. The room goes silent. Everyone is staring at me, waiting for me to speak.
Wade: Uh – I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t expect to win tonight, so I have nothing prepared.
I stop and look out at the expecting crowd, my mind muddled under the hot stage lights, with the trophy growing heavy in my hands. Suddenly, my eyes land on Maia and her beaming, beautiful face, and I know exactly how to proceed.
Wade: I hope you don’t mind if I call somebody up here. *the crowd approves* Maia, can you please join me?
Maia steps on the stage and stands beside me. Feeling much more articulate and clear, I lean into the mic.
Wade: You’re only as big as the people around you. I wouldn’t even be here tonight if it wasn’t for this beautiful woman beside me. She’s the one who convinced me to come out here and has been my voice of encouragement this entire time. I want to dedicate this win to her. Maia, baby – this is for you! *concludes* Thanks to my family, fans, and the Starlight Accolades nomination committee members. Without you all, none of this would be possible.
I say a few more words and end my speech. As I’m walking away, I see that Maia has sat down. I’m guessing that her feet hurt. Was my speech that long?
Wade: *to Maia* I may have won the award, but you are my prize.
Her mouth curves into a smile, and we step off the stage together.
After we leave the stage, we exchange excitement in short exclamations.
Wade: I won!
Maia: You won!
Wade: I actually won!
Maia: I knew you would!
Wade: You did; you said I would! And I appreciate you for believing in me.
I grab her hands and kiss them.
Wade: I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. I would have missed this opportunity, and I owe you big time.
She takes me completely off guard when she rushes in closer, pulls me into her, and kisses me.
My mind and body finally catch up and realize what’s happening. I begin to kiss Maia back, and things get a little intense. I’m instantly aroused and ready to accept the challenge that her breasts pressed close against my chest are giving me. I step back but have a tough time pulling my lips away.
Wade: *whispers between kisses* Wait…
Either she doesn’t want to stop, or she doesn’t hear me. I pull myself away, take another step back, and repeat myself, this time louder.
Wade: Maia, wait
Maia: Oh Watcher! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –
Wade: It’s not that. We should – let’s continue this upstairs.
Maia: Upstairs?
Wade: Yeah, in our room.
She wants me as much as I want her. I can tell, so it doesn’t take her long to get what I’m trying to say. She nods in agreement, and we slip away while the ceremony ends.
We’re back at it as soon as we’re upstairs and the door has closed. Mouths tasting each other, hands exploring – desperately trying to unzip zippers and unhook clothing. Then, it’s Maia’s turn to step back.
Wade: Is this okay? Do you want to stop?
Maia: Yes. I mean, no – I just want to go and change first.
Change for what? I’m trying to take stuff off, not change. But I don’t protest as she turns and walks to the bathroom. While I’m waiting, I strip down to my underwear.
She soon returns, wearing some lacy panties and a bra. It’s nice, and I appreciate the view. My eyes bounce back and forth across the cleavage of her breasts, loving the contrast of the white lace against her brown skin, but I’d rather see what’s underneath it. What’s the quickest way to remove a bra? That’s all I’m thinking until I look up at her face and see that she’s hesitant. I grab her hands and can feel them tremble slightly.
Wade: Are you good? Have you done this before?
Maia: No
Damn. Here I am, acting overly anxious, trying to undress her with my eyes – while she’s still trying to process what we’re about to do. I’ve been there before. I need to pump the brakes and slow it all down. I don’t want her first time to be like it was for me with Inata. I want her to be comfortable with me. I want her first time to be memorable and meaningful because that’s what she deserves.
I slowly lead her to the bed, and we take our time – kissing, holding, and caressing one another. We do things short of actually woohooing, never even removing our underwear. It’s not that I don’t want to. I want to be inside of her as much as I need to breathe, but I don’t want it here. She says she’s never done this before. That matters to me, and I want our first time together to be personal. I want to take her home to my bed, not woohoo in some overpriced, gaudy hotel room. And I think Maia appreciates this, making the moment even more special and intimate for both of us.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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♫“Let me in your life
So caught up all the time
I think we capture the essence when we don’t try
So let it be, let it happen
Let the colours flow to your mind
Let me into your life
Waves keep on throwing me side to side
Undertow and overflow
It can be so unsteady sometimes
Let me into your life
Your life
Yeah, yeah
Haze and this whisky
Is flowing out my brain
All the things we could be
If wе just had a new perception
Wе seem to capture the essence when we don’t try
Let it be, let it happen
Let the colours flow to your mind (Yeah, yeah, yeah)”♪
Song: Into Your Life by Louis Baker
