We can hear Maia returning. Clyde lowers his voice.
Clyde: Loving Maia ain’t gonna be easy. She tell you about her condition?
Wade: Yes, sir.
Clyde: You’d better be sure you can handle good and rough times. It ain’t gonna be just woohoo and roses. Understand? If you’re not prepared for the whole package, just let her down easy and leave her alone. Understand what I’m saying, young blood?
Wade: Yes, sir. I understand.
I know he’s just trying to make sure I know what I’d be up against with Maia. And I guess I appreciate that. After all, who knows Maia better than her father?
Maia returns and sits down beside me. Clyde says a few final words.
Clyde: I’m glad you suggested the two of you stop by.
After finally expressing gratitude, he gets up and returns to his chair and I can finally breathe freely again.
Clyde: *to Maia* Did you find everything you needed?
Maia: I did
Clyde: Good. I did, too.
What exactly does that mean? My phone suddenly rings, and I see that it’s Dad. Perfect timing!
Wade: It’s my father. I’d better take this, and if you’ll excuse me – I think I’ll take a little walk around the neighborhood to give you and Maia a chance to catch up.
Maia and her dad seem to like the idea, but not as much as me. I can’t get out of here fast enough. As I walk towards the door, Maia’s dad has one last thing to say to me.
Clyde: Don’t get robbed out there.
He’s still trying to scare me, but it doesn’t work this time because nothing can be scarier than being alone in a room with him and his cane.
Maia and her father sit quietly watching Civic Public Access television just like before she moved out. Clyde chuckles at some of the shenanigans in the current program as if he hasn’t seen that episode a thousand times.
Clyde: You remember this one, Maia girl? It kills me every time.
Maia: I remember
Maia’s eyes are not on the TV. They don’t need to be. She knows what’s going to happen on the show before it happens. Instead, she is watching her father.
Maia: So, father, what did you think of Wade?
Clyde: Am I supposed to be thinking something?
Her father has always been stubborn, so Maia’s not surprised when she doesn’t get a straight answer from him.
Maia: You were in here with him for a while. I’d imagine you formed an opinion of him.
Clyde: He doesn’t scare easily. I know that.
Maia doesn’t like the sound of that.
Maia: What do you mean? Did you threaten him? Is that why he left?
Clyde: He says he left because he needed to talk to his father. Don’t you believe him? Has he ever given you any reason to doubt him?
The art of deflection is something Clyde has always been good at.
Maia: Of course, I believe him, but—
Clyde: Then that’s that.
Maia notices that he still hasn’t answered the question, giving her all the answers she needs. She makes a note to herself to apologize to Dub for her father’s behavior later.
Clyde suddenly gets up from his chair.
Clyde: I need to use the toilet.
Maia watches as her father leaves the room. As much as she loves him, he sometimes stresses her out. It’s part of the reason she left right after graduating high school. He could be so strict at times, always keeping a close eye on her, never failing to pave all the bumps in her life so she never got hurt. Maia knows it’s because of her mental condition, but how can she learn to truly live with it if she is never allowed to fail or succeed on her own?
She gets up and takes a look around the very familiar living room. Her father is a creature of habit, so most things in the room are where they’ve been for decades. The only change is a table by the front door with an old photo of her mother and father above it. Maia stands and stares at it for a while.
Clyde uses the bathroom but doesn’t return right away. Instead, he sits in a comfortable bedroom chair and stares at the walls. He, too, is thinking about how tightly he’s held Maia over the years. When she tired of it and left, she cut him off for months – not answering his calls or text messages. He understands why. If you interfere with a butterfly trying to emerge from its cocoon, you can cripple it, and it may never get to spread its wings and fly. He interfered for way too long.
Now, she is back home with a boy she obviously cares about. Clyde’s instinct is to continue protecting her; It would be easy to run this Wade away. A few words from his mouth and Wade would leave Maia, never looking back. But Clyde knows if he tries – it’ll hurt her, and he’d risk losing contact with her again.
When he returns to the living room, he finds Maia staring at the picture of him with her mother. He walks up behind her.
Clyde: Your mother destroyed most of the pictures she had of us. But for some reason, she didn’t completely ruin this one.
Maia: Why would she do that?
Clyde: Your mother was a mystery that I could never quite crack. What do you remember of her?
Maia takes a moment to light the candles in front of the picture before answering.
Maia: I remember the fights the most. Was it always like that between the two of you?
Clyde: Only when she refused to take her meds.
Hearing that sends a bolt of panic through Maia. She hasn’t taken meds for a while now. Is she destined for the same fate as her mother?
Clyde: *continues* She’d lash out at me for reasons only in her head. It was always verbal, never physical.
Maia: She’d throw things.
Clyde: True, but only on the floor or at the walls. Every family has rough moments. But, Maia, there were plenty of good times too.
Those words suddenly bring up a memory.
Maia: *smiles* She liked to comb my hair. I’d sit on the floor between her legs for hours, and she’d part, twist, and braid my hair. That’s when she was at her calmest. She’d tell me stories, or we’d listen to some of her favorite songs on the record player.
Clyde: She said that combing your hair made her happy.
Combing Maia’s hair must have been her mother’s form of yoga.
Maia’s phone buzzes. It’s Dub letting her know that he’s decided to take a walk around the lake. Maia sends a quick reply and puts the phone away.
Clyde: You’re nothing like her, you know. I know you worry about that, but you’re much stronger than she could have ever been.
Maia: You never treated me like I was strong.
Clyde: That’s because I’m a foolish and scared old man. I’ve always been afraid of failing you like I failed your mother.
Maia: You didn’t fail her. You stuck by her and did the best you could.
Clyde: Your mother did the best she could, too. She had some serious struggles, but she loved you more than anything. *thoughtful pause* In her right mind, she would have never chosen to leave you. When you were born, she did everything possible to slay her demons. She was a good mother to you then, and I wish you were older at the time, so you’d remembered that.
Maia: I remember that she liked to sing.
Clyde: *chuckles* She never had a voice for singing, but it didn’t stop her. Always sounded like stray cats stuck out in a rainstorm. But music was her happy place, and when she was happy -I was happy, too. Even if I had to endure her terrible singing voice… *brief pause* I still have her favorite record. I play it from time to time. Want to hear it?
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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