It’s time for Maia and I to face and talk about our reality. I head up the stairs and find her in our bedroom.
Wade: Hi
Maia: Hi
Maia looks much calmer than when I left her in the bathroom this morning. I hope it means she’ll be more receptive to discussing this thing.
Wade: Can we talk? Maybe take a walk, go to the park or something?
Maia: Yeah, sure.
Maia slowly gets up from the bed.
We leash up Hiro and allow our silent thoughts to propel us to Pupperstone Park, across from Maia’s old house. We find a secluded bench, and I start the conversation with an important question.
Wade: Maia, do you want our baby? Because I do.
Everything that we say next hinges on her answer to that question.
Maia: I do, *pause*, but it’s not as simple as just wanting it.
Wade: Why not?
Maia: I have more that I need to tell you.
Wade: Does it have anything to do with the baby?
Maia: It has everything to do with the baby.
That scares me.
Wade: I love you no matter what you say, okay?
Maia doesn’t look convinced nor does she look like she’s in a hurry to go on. So I do my best to encourage her.
Wade: I’m listening, Maia. What is this about?
Maia: It’s about what I told you before – my mental diagnosis.
Wade: Okay
Maia: And my mother.
I tense up but do my best to hide it.
Wade: Go on
Maia: My condition isn’t an isolated thing. My mother also suffered from mental illness.
I silently nod to coax her to continue.
Maia: And I’ve always been terrified to pass it on, so to avoid that – I told myself that I’d never have children. But then I met you, and –
Maia stops talking because she’s afraid to say something.
Wade: What happened to your mother, Maia?
Maia: She died – when I was little. She was in a mental institution and she died trying to self medicate. Her death was ruled an accident. But I never understood that – in my head, she chose to leave me.
Wade: I’m sorry, Maia.
Maia: It terrifies me, Dub. *long pause* What if…?
Maia trails off, and I fill in for her.
Wade: You end up the same way?
Maia: *tearful nod*
Wade: I hear you, Maia, and understand why you’re afraid. But from what I’ve seen, you’ll be a great mother. Honestly, I’m more worried about my ability to parent.
Maia: But what about our baby? What if it gets passed down?
Wade: Then they are lucky to have you for a mother because you’ve navigated your life flawlessly and can teach a lot about wellness and self-preservation. Heck, you’ve even taught me a few things. Do you remember when I had that breakdown in Del Sol? You were the one that got me through it.
Maia: Really?
Wade: Yes, and no matter what happens, you’re not alone in this. You have me. Maia – baby, can we at least consider moving forward and starting our life together? No matter what, this baby is coming, and we’ll be parents. And I want to parent with you beside me as my partner and eventually my wife. And I’m not saying I want to marry you just because we’re in this situation. I’m saying it because I love you and can’t see myself with anyone else.
Maia: Even after everything I just told you?
Wade: My feelings for you haven’t changed. So, can we give this a try?
Maia pauses for a while before responding.
Maia: I’m willing if you’re willing.
Wade: You already know I am.
Maia and I get up and share a relieved hug. I notice that I have farther to reach because of her protruding belly. A sudden warm feeling starts in my core and begins to spread until it reaches my heart, as I realize that I’m hugging our baby simultaneously.
I reach down and place my hands on Maia’s stomach.
Wade: *to the baby* Hey there, lil dude. It’s your daddy. Fair warning – I don’t know what the heck I’m doing, but I promise I’ll give daddy-ing my best effort.
I look up at Maia before continuing.
Wade: Your mom is already amazing, so you have that to look forward to – no worries there.
I don’t know if Maia believes my words, but she smiles, which is good enough for me.
I’m feeling much better, and I believe Maia is too, by the time we return home. She goes into the bedroom for a nap, and I figure it’s the perfect time to post a new video on SimTube. I load up my camera to get started.
Wade: What’s up, Simtube! It’s your boy, Dub. I wanted to come to you today with a quick word of encouragement. A good friend told me that unexpected changes don’t have to be bad. Sure, they can disrupt your plans and leave you feeling lost and sometimes even afraid. I can relate to that. But they can also be necessary to get you closer to the things you’ve always wanted and prayed about. Let’s face it: we can sometimes be creatures of habit. We wake up, eat, go to work, return home, watch TV, eat, sleep—rinse and repeat. But getting stuck in that cycle doesn’t lead to change and certainly won’t take us where we want to go. In those times, life sometimes has a way of shaking things up and forcing us into a new reality. Maybe you get laid off from the job that you hated, or you suddenly find out that you have to relocate to another city to keep the job you have. Or on a personal level, you finally meet a special somebody who changes your life forever. I know it can be hard to embrace such big changes, but sometimes if you step back and look at it from a different perspective – you’ll see that it may not be so bad. And after some time, you look around and find that you’re finally on the road to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be. I’m on that road now, and I’m here to tell you that although I initially panicked, I can now see that it’s not so scary.
I finish my video just as Maia leaves the bedroom and heads downstairs. I save what I’ve done and join her because we still have much to discuss.
Wade: How are you feeling?
Maia: *smiles* I feel okay. A little tired, but – okay.
Maia: So, when do we tell our parents about the pregnancy?
Wade: How about – when the baby is in college?
Maia: Dub! I’m serious.
Wade: Me too
Maia: *amused* You know we can’t do that.
Wade: *chuckles* Yeah, I know. But can we wait until tomorrow?
Maia: I don’t see why not.
Wade: Your dad is going to kill me.
Maia: No, he won’t. Why would he?
Wade: I mean – come on. You know he carries a cane for more than just walking, right?
Maia: Wait, did he threaten you?
Wade: Not directly, but I felt it all the same.
Maia: I’m sure he didn’t mean it.
Wade: I’m not convinced, but we’ll see.
After getting ready for bed, we continue our conversation upstairs in the bedroom.
Wade: We need a bigger house. One bedroom isn’t going to cut it.
Maia snuggles up against me, and I pull her close.
Maia: Yeah, I guess we will – eventually.
Wade: And we need to come up with names.
Maia: *smiles* We don’t even know what we’re having. We have plenty of time.
Wade: And we –
Maia stops me.
Maia: Dub…
Wade: Yeah?
Maia: Can we enjoy right now and think about all that later?
I turn my attention to her and the emotion that comes from having her in my arms. I close my eyes and lean into the feeling.
Wade: Okay
We remain that way until Maia announces she’s tired and ready for bed. She crawls up under the sheets leaving me to my thoughts. My grades have come in from my two college courses. I currently have an A+ GPA. But with a baby coming, I’ll have to delay enrolling in another term. I also mentally calculate how much money I’m currently earning from SimTube and what we get from the money tree, and I come to one conclusion – if I want to make sure that our child has everything, I need to make a lot more money.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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