It’s 3 in the morning, and I wake up to a smell that sends me back to the cow shed that I used to shovel out as a teen on my parent’s farm. I get out of bed and look around to find the source.
Wade: *to himself* Oh, My Watcher! What is that?
I search the floor for a pile of Hiro’s poop, but there isn’t any. I follow the putrid scent to Tami’s crib, which shocks me. How can a tiny baby smell so bad? I gather Tami into my arms, feeling the warm poop that has escaped from her diaper. Maia isn’t in bed. She’s either in the bathroom or downstairs, searching for an early morning snack. Either way, it’s up to me to change Tami.
I carry Tami to the changing table and see Clyde standing near the bathroom door.
Clyde: What’s that smell?
Why is he up here? Did the terrible smell of Tami’s diaper wake him, too?
Wade: It’s Tami. She spoiled her diaper.
Clyde: Ugh. Where’s Maia?
Wade: I think she’s in the bathroom.
Clyde: You’re not gonna wait for her?
Wade: I can’t just leave Tami like this. I need to clean her up.
Clyde takes a few steps back.
Clyde: You’re a better man than me. Elise took care of all the diaper stuff.
I place Tami on the changing table.
Wade: Why? Because she was the woman? Times have changed. Men can change diapers, too.
Clyde: Well, good luck with that.
I immediately see why Clyde wished me luck. Tami’s mess is everywhere, including her legs and back.
I open Tami’s pajamas and remove her diaper, trying desperately not to spread the mess more than it already is. Just as I’m starting to feel confident that I can do this, Tami pees on me. Pee shoots everywhere. I didn’t even know a baby girl could do that. Panicked, I step back.
Wade: *to Clyde* Help me! Can you grab her for me?
Clyde: I ain’t touching none of that!
I sigh and step back into the battle with the diaper. But there’s still poop everywhere, and there’s no way to clean it without getting some on my hands. I can feel my stomach churning, and I pray that I don’t vomit all over my baby. Maia finally steps out of the bathroom.
Maia: *sniffs* Is that Tami? Oh, my Watcher! Do you need help?
The question pisses me off a little because I needed help about 10 minutes ago before Tami peed all over my pajamas and before getting baby poo all over my hands. It’s too late now.
Wade: I think I finally got it.
I was wrong earlier when I compared this to cleaning the cow shed. This situation is ten times worse than that. At least there, I could use a shovel.
Tambara has on a fresh diaper, but she still smells terrible, and so do I. I pick her up.
Wade: Did I miss something?
Maia: You did a good job, but she needs a bath.
Maia takes another sniff in my direction.
Maia: And so do you.
Maia takes Tami from my arms.
Maia: I’ll take care of her so you can shower.
I glance longingly at our warm bed. I’d love to sleep for a few more hours, but that won’t happen now.
Maybe there’s something to what Clyde was saying about waiting for Maia. I admire her as she expertly runs Tami’s bath water, checks the temperature with her elbow, and cleans her up. I wouldn’t have even known where to start. Maia squeezes the rubber ducky, and Tami smiles. Is there some motherly instinct that we fathers don’t have?
Maia: Hey there, my sweet little tadpole. Let’s get you all cleaned up!
I leave Maia to her task and step into the shower.
After my shower, I do what I can to help by vacuuming the dust bunnies that are beginning to appear on the floor as Maia finishes cleaning Tami and changes her into clean clothes. Clyde walks in, looking a bit impatient. I guess he was up early because he needed to use the bathroom. But I’m sure even he understands that getting Tami cleaned up is the priority.
After Dub has gone downstairs and Clyde has taken care of his needs in the bathroom, Maia gets to spend a few minutes alone with her daughter. It’s time to nurse Tami, which is always a precious time for Maia because it allows her to bond with her daughter in a way that no one else can. There’s something special about knowing that her daughter is thriving from being nourished from Maia’s body. Mother and daughter stare up at one another with unbreakable eye contact until Tami becomes milk-drunk and lethargic, and her eyelids become so heavy that they eventually close. After Tami has eaten her fill, Maia places her on her shoulder and gently rubs her back until she burps.
Now that Tami has eaten, it’s time for Maia to get dressed and go downstairs so she can eat as well. Maia pulls out the baby carrier they received as a gift during the baby shower, places Tami in it, and heads downstairs.
Ole Hooknose Charlie’s squatter intel has paid off for us. The real estate agent has sent me a message informing me that the owners have accepted my offer for the house, and we can begin purchasing it. This is excellent news, and it also means that we can start planning the interior design with a professional so that the house is move-in ready when we arrive in San Sequoia. I have already contacted a designer, but I want to let Maia handle the details since she’s used to dealing with people online with her previous work as a freelance crafter. I trust her with the job but hope she won’t spare any expense. We’re not millionaires yet, but we’re also not plebeians, so I’d rather not live like one.
Maia is standing by the refrigerator eating breakfast with Tami on her back. I call over to her.
Wade: I have some good news on the house!
Maia walks over, still eating, and I fill her in on the details. I also tell her about the interior designer. She seems pretty happy to take over the task, and I’m glad because while Maia is taking care of the house décor, I’ll be on another mission. I received a message from Dwight, my cousin Bri’s significant other, earlier on Social Bunny. He’s ready to tackle the mine in search of the perfect gem for Maia’s engagement ring. So, after we settle on a time to leave, we’ll head to Oasis Springs today.
Maia has no idea what my plans are for the day, so she takes care of Tami like any other day.
Maia: *to Tami* Are you ready to try tummy time with mommy?
Tambara: *coos*
Maia answers as if Tami has responded.
Maia: You are! Okay, let’s give it a shot.
Maia spreads a blanket on the floor and rolls Tami onto her tummy. Tami lifts her head and tries to look around, but she doesn’t seem to like this new position at all.
Tami’s head lowers as if it’s too heavy for her body, and that’s when the tears begin.
Maia: You’re doing a great job, Tadpole.
I don’t know if babies can have tantrums, but if they can – Tami is in the middle of one. The tears don’t stop until Maia gives up and rolls Tami onto her back.
Maia: I guess that’s enough tummy time for the day. We’ll try again tomorrow.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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