Although the contents of my stomach threaten to appear several times, I manage to hold it down and finish changing the diaper. Now that Tami is all dressed and ready for bed, the second battle begins – calming her down for her nap. As soon as we approach the crib, the tears start.
But the mobile comes to the rescue. I turn it on, and she stares at it and listens to the soft lullaby until her eyes droop. Now, I’m free to sneak out of the room and get some more work done. I run into Maia downstairs.
Maia: Where’s Tami?
Wade: I changed her and put her down for her nap. Question…when will she be old enough to use the toilet?
Maia: When she’s a toddler. Why?
I’m considering mentioning the poop battle I just endured, but Maia has had her share, so I keep that part to myself. It all comes with the job of daddy anyway.
Wade: Never mind. I was just asking.
My mind flashes to Luca, and I wonder how he’s dealing with the not-so-joyous parts of fatherhood. The dude is practically a saint, so he’s probably putting me to shame.
I step into my office and check my email. I have a new sponsored opportunity, which means more money, so I take it immediately.
The challenge is to use a drone to record myself cooking. Of course, I could have taken the easy way out and just sent any of my videos, but I’ve been dying to use that new pizza oven in our kitchen. It gives me a chance to beat Maia to it. I look up a simple pizza recipe on my phone and get started, flattening out the dough and adding my toppings. All of that is easy enough. The final step is to slide it in the oven. After 20 minutes, I take it out and it looks perfect.
I call Maia up to try out my culinary experiment. She almost looks offended that I had a chance to use the pizza oven first.
Maia: It looks pretty good.
Wade: Of course it does. I’m not exactly an amateur in the kitchen.
Maia: We’ll see about that.
We sit down at the table and I wait for her to take a bite.
Wade: Well, what do you think?
Maia: It’s good – I mean, really good!
Wade: Can you say that again—louder, so the drone can hear you?
She refuses, but I’m not surprised. I finish off my slices and head downstairs to upload the footage, feeling happy knowing that I nailed it. All I need to do now is sit back and watch the simoleons and the followers roll in.
While Dub is downstairs working, Maia wakes Tami from her nap, knowing that if they let her sleep too long, she’ll be up all night. Maia places Tami in the high chair so they can try more baby food. This time, she chooses sweet potatoes. It’s a hit. Not only does Tami love the taste of it, but she also discovers the joy of making a mess.
The tenants have moved in next door. Although it’s late, I decide to stop by to ensure everything is okay with the rental. But, as I step outside in the dark, I get this weird, anxious sensation—as if I’m in danger. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m in a new town. I think back to what Clyde said when I first met him, ‘don’t get robbed out there!’ What did he mean by that? Is that something I should be worried about out here?
Wade: *out loud to himself* Pull yourself together! Fatherhood is making you soft.
I walk up to the front door of the rental and knock.
Female Voice: Who is it?
Wade: It’s your new landlord—from next door.
Female Voice: Come on in!
I enter and find Tia, one of my new tenants, sitting on the couch.
Wade: Hi, I’m Wade. You must be Tia.
Tia: I am, but there’s no way you’re the landlord.
Wade: What do you mean?
Tia: Aren’t landlords supposed to be old and out of shape with a little butt crack showing?
Wade: I don’t know. I never had one before.
Tia: You’re way too good-looking. My husband Haru won’t be too happy about this.
About what? Is she implying that she has a jealous husband? Great. Maybe I should have vetted them before allowing them to move in.
Wade: Look—I’m just here to ensure everything works okay.
Tia: Our dishwasher seems to be a bit wonky. I think one of the buttons is stuck.
Wade: Okay, I’ll take a look at it.
Tia: Whatever! Just fix it quickly and get out of here before my husband sees you.
Tia gets up and hurries down the stairs. I don’t know what’s happening between her and Haru, but maybe I should bring Maia with me next time to put everyone at ease.
I step into the kitchen and inspect the dishwasher. I can see what Tia means. One of the buttons seems to be stuck. I’m not the most handy person, but I know the basics, so I pull off the front panel and fix the issue.
When I return home, I step into my media room, prepared to sit down and get some more work done, but it seems that Maia has made herself comfortable here. I thought this was supposed to be my sanctuary. I didn’t realize I’d have to share.
Wade: Everything okay? Is Tami still sleeping?
Maia: No, but I needed a little break; she’s in her bedroom.
Wade: What’s going on?
Maia: Now that she’s mobile, she refuses to go to bed.
I know the feeling.
Wade: Let me finish here, and I’ll meet you there to help.
Maia gets up and heads back to the battlefield while I open up my computer to respond to my fans – which consist of many flirty ladies these days. I thought making videos about Maia and Tambara would push them away, but it seems to make me more appealing. I scan through some of them, wondering how to respond to ladies asking me to be their ‘baby’s daddy’ or to the numerous ‘marry me’ comments. I don’t want to ignore them, but I also don’t want to say anything that’ll offend Maia. Yikes! Maybe this is a task for another day.
As promised, I go upstairs to help Maia put Tami to bed. I step into the middle of a tiny baby tantrum.
Maia: *frustrated* She starts crying if I try to pick her up.
Wade: Hey, princess, let’s make a deal! You agree to go to bed, and we’ll take you to the park or something tomorrow, and you can scoot around as much as you want.
Maia: She doesn’t understand deals, Dub.
Maybe not, but that doesn’t stop me from trying again.
Wade: Daddy will buy you anything you want!
To both of our disbelief, Tami finally stops crying.
Wade: See, she understood that one.
Maia: It was just a coincidence. I think she’s responding to the tone of your voice.
Wade: Whatever it is, it worked.
I pick Tami up, place her in her crib, and turn on her mobile before she can turn on the tears again. I head out the door, convinced that Tami understood what I said. Her toddler birthday will be coming soon, and I’m determined to make good on my promise to buy her whatever she wants and more.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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