My phone rings as I’m standing there, thinking how wrong I was about everything. It’s Luca. Of course, it is—calling right when I feel like the biggest a-hole. We catch up for a while as he asks how things are going. I tell him about Clyde moving in next door and how Tami started school. I even mention Luna dying. But I avoid saying anything about purchasing the new cat. I don’t keep it from him because I think he’d judge me, but because I’m tired of having to tell him about my biggest F-Ups. I can already hear his response if I did…
Luca: *in Dub’s imagination* Tami’s still mourning and you get her another cat? What were you thinking? We talked about this, Dub. What do you think this teaches her?**
I redirect the conversation by asking how he’s doing, and he tells me he and the fam are in Mt. Komorebi, where they’ll be spending Winterfest. A family vacation sounds like a good idea. I wish we had planned something like that. Anyway, we keep it brief and end the call. Hearing Sophia and Desi chatting happily in the background as the call winds down confirms that I need to find Maia and apologize.
While Dub searches the house for Maia, Tami is in her mother’s yoga room, working on the castle project for school. Maia is coming to the end of her yoga session, and Clyde has made himself at home in the hot tub.
Clyde soaks, thinking it’s a shame this is his first time in a hot tub. He’d seen people in them on TV but figured ‘hot tub’ was another name for a fancy bathtub. Now, he can see he was wrong. A bathtub doesn’t soothe his aching muscles like the hot water shooting out the jets, massaging his lower back. There seems to be no end to the advantages enjoyed by the rich and privileged. But now he finally feels what it’s like to be one of them. He has no complaints.
I waste time looking for Maia in our bedroom and garage, before remembering that she mentioned meditating. Her favorite meditation spot is near the frog pond, so I head outside to look for her there. That’s where I find her, but unfortunately, Clyde is nearby. There’s just no escaping the old man. His input is the last thing I need to hear while trying to apologize to my wife.
Before I can sneak back into the house unseen, Clyde turns and spots me. He narrows his eyes into death rays. Did Maia tell him what I said to her? I can’t imagine her doing that, but Clyde looks at me as if he knows. I play it off by focusing on harvesting the fruit from the money tree to avoid his gaze.
Right now, the safest thing for me is to go back inside and finish helping Tami with her project, like I promised last night before Clyde interrupted.
Wade: So, where were we, Princess?
Tami picks up the instruction book and pretends to read it.
Tambara: It says here that Daddy should do the hard stuff while I paint and make castle walls.
Wade: Are you sure that’s what it says?
Tambara: I think so!
Wade: Sounds like a plan to me then.
After skillfully easing her negative emotions into a faint ache, Maia settles back on her meditation pillow. Although the anger and hurt still exist, her thoughts, emotions, and feelings are more aligned. She feels in control and ready to face Dub when the time comes. She’s known him long enough to expect him to come running with a prepared apology, hoping things will return to normal. But something about what he said has caused a shift within their relationship. Maia thinks back to when they were first dating when she told him she had a mental illness and the other times when he listened while she described the poverty of her childhood and losing her mother. He was so kind and understanding. He told her that those things didn’t bother him…that he’d be there for her. Admittedly, some events of her youth were tragic, and her past seeps into her present from time to time. Does that give Dub the right to use it against her in an argument? No, of course not.
Maia sighs and distracts herself momentarily with random tasks around her garden.
Tami’s project is complete, and I must admit that we did a damn good job! It’ll surely be the best in her class.
Tambara: It’s beautiful, Daddy!
Wade: We did that, didn’t we?
Maia walks in as we’re admiring our work.
Tambara: Look at my castle, Mommy!
Maia: Good job, Tadpole!
Tambara: Daddy helped too!
I’m glad Tami added that last part. I could use all the brownie points I can get.
Tambara: I’ll show it to Lu-I mean Majesty.
Maia and I watch as Tami heads back inside.
Maia and I are finally alone. It’s now or never.
Wade: Can we talk?
Maia: Sure
Maia stares at me expectantly, causing my legs to weaken. I sit down on the nearby bench to steady myself.
Wade: I was wrong, babe, and I’m sorry.
Maia: About what, exactly?
Wade: I should have consulted you about the cat. You wanted to wait, but I thought I knew better, so I did it behind your back. I thought you’d come around once you –
Maia: That’s it? Do you think that’s the worst thing you did?
It’s time to tread lightly.
Wade: No?
Wade: I shouldn’t have said the other thing either. I was lashing out and should have kept it to myself.
Maia: So you meant what you said!
Wade: What? No, I didn’t-
Maia: It was mean and incredibly disrespectful. I’m sorry I didn’t grow up with a cushy, cozy life like you. It’s my reality, and I won’t apologize because it’s made me into the person you claim to love.
Wade: Maia, babe, I do love you! More than –
Maia: Let me finish!
I close my open mouth.
Maia: *continues* You weaponized my past, Dub…to win an argument! I don’t think we will make it if you ever do that again. How about you think about that for a while?
Maia starts towards the door. I do my best to stop her.
Wade: I know I was a fool! I’m sorry, and I promise I didn’t mean it.
Maia: You can’t keep apologizing for being a fool and continue to be one.
After that last bit, Maia leaves the room. I guess that’s it. All I can do is give her more time and figure out how to make it up. I leave the room and head towards my office.
**Luca’s words written by Jes (link takes you to her website)
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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