Sleep doesn’t come easy in a strange house and bed. I wake after hearing Maia move around in the garage next to the master bedroom. I check my phone. It’s a little after 3 am. Maia isn’t normally an early riser. I leave the bedroom and listen at the garage door, debating if I should go in.
Unless I plan on sleeping in the rental forever, I can’t put this off. We need to talk. I knock quietly and step inside. I look around the garage, shocked by the transformation. Maia spared no expense. I’m impressed. I want to compliment her on it, but her workroom is not the issue at hand. We need to have a serious discussion.
Maia is sitting at her desk working or at least pretending to, so I take a seat in a chair in the corner. She refuses to acknowledge my presence. After about 5 minutes, I get up and walk over.
Wade: Maia, we need to talk.
She looks up at me.
Maia: What would you like to talk about?
Is she serious right now?
Wade: Hmmm, I don’t know. Can we start with you kicking me out of our bed?
I’m going down the wrong road. I pause and clear my throat.
Wade: *softer tone* Let me start over. Maia, I thought I was doing the right thing helping Xavier and giving Tami something to aspire to.
She cuts me off immediately.
Maia: How many times do I have to tell you, Wade? This isn’t about the damn horse! Get that through your head!
Oh, so we’re going there?
Wade: Then tell me what it’s about because I’m in the dark here.
Maia: It’s about Tami, you, and me.
The Tami part I’ve heard before.
Wade: You and me? What about us?
Maia stops and takes a deep breath.
Maia: Let me see if I can get you to understand this. It’s no secret we grew up differently. We’re from two different sides of the track.
Wade: Yeah, and? We’ve worked through that.
Maia: Have we?
Wade: Haven’t we? Am I missing something here?
Maia: I’ve adjusted myself to fit into your world, but not once have you adjusted yourself to fit into mine. You look down on me.
Wade: No, I don’t, Maia.
Maia: You look down on how I grew up. Everything you do, every decision you make, is based on what you want. Have you ever asked yourself what I want?
There’s no right way to answer that. Of course, I’ve asked myself what she wants. She’s my wife. And I never meant to look down on Maia’s upbringing – I just never understood it. I can say it one hundred times, but she’d never believe me.
Wade: I thought the whole point was for us to grow—together.
Maia: I did too. But none of this has felt like we’re together. Since Tami was born, it’s been you and her against me. You used to be my happy place, Dub. But you just aren’t anymore.
I open my mouth to respond but immediately close it. What do I say to that?
Wade: I don’t make you happy?
Maia: I haven’t been happy for a long time. There are moments when you’re the Dub I first met. I cherish those times. I wish they’d last forever. But then you turn around and stomp on those memories. You make everything worse.
I exhale from the verbal blow to the gut.
Wade: How did we get here, Maia? What happened?
Maia: You ask as if it’s only on me.
My heart is pumping loud enough to drown out my thoughts.
Wade: I ask because I’m at a loss here, Maia. What do you want me to do?
Maia: Honestly nothing, Wade! You’ve done enough.
Wade: Enough of what, dammit! Maia, you’re speaking in code. What the hell did I do?
Maia: You’ve spoiled Tami into ruin. That’s what you did!
Wade: Ruin?
Maia: Yes, Dub. Ruin! She’s mean, she’s rude, and she’s ungrateful. I’m terrified of her future!
Wade: Is that what you really think?
Maia: It’s what I know. And you’re completely blind to it. You can ask your parents, or your brothers, or anyone that’s been around Tami for 5 minutes. Ask Luca!
Luca? Does my best friend believe I’ve ruined my child? I try to think back on our discussions, but my thoughts turn to mush after hearing Maia’s next words.
Maia: She needs time away from you. I need to work on undoing the damage you’ve done.
Maia’s words are quicksand and I’m sinking fast.
Wade: What? Maia, you can’t take my daughter away from me! What are you talking about?
Maia stands up and turns her back to me.
Maia: *quietly* I’m asking you to move out.
Wade: What?
Maia: You can stay in the rental until you find a new place, but I want you out by the end of the week.
Wade: But this is my house.
Maia: Tami and I will move out then.
I can’t breathe.
Wade: Is that it, Maia? Are you saying you’re done?
Maia responds so quietly I have to strain to hear her.
Maia: I think so Dub.
Maia turns and walks out the door. Damn.
And just like my marriage is in shambles. My thoughts collide, my legs are weak, and my stomach is in pain.
But just as quickly, it all fades and I’m left with a bitter numbness.
My wife wants me gone.
My wife wants me gone.
My wife wants me gone.
Those words haunt and follow me as I return home to pack a bag.
I change my clothes and place a few things in my suitcase. But as I do, a flood of anger rushes in to fill the emptiness inside. What the f*%k just happened? Did Maia just kick me out of my own damn house? Did she threaten to take my only child away? I feel a powerful urge to scream, shake things, and kick something. I need to leave quickly.
But before I go, I need to see my baby girl. Tami is sleeping in her bed, so I tiptoe over to a chair. Today is the first day of the rest of Tami’s life, but it feels like I’m creeping towards the end of mine. I look around the bedroom, redecorated to fit a modern teenage princess. That’s when a new thought enters my mind, hitting me with the force of a semi-truck.
Maia isn’t wrong.
I can deny it a hundred times and justify it any way I want to, but I spoke with Xavier knowing perfectly well Maia wouldn’t approve. But it’s the reason for the disapproval that I got wrong. I thought she’d be upset because of the cost of the horse in simoleons. But now I know it’s about the cost to Tami’s character and soul.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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