It’s been a rough day for all of us. Losing Ma feels a lot like losing the ability to breathe. I keep looking around, expecting her to descend the stairs with her bright smile, asking if we’re hungry or want something to eat. Then reality sets in, and I realize I’ll never see her again.
To make it worse, Dad has locked himself in their bedroom all day. From time to time, one of us goes up to check on him, and all we can hear is crying through the door.
Mason: I’m worried about him. And he won’t open the door. I’m thinking about climbing up to the balcony to see if I can get through from there.
I place my hands on Mase’s shoulders. He has always been super sensitive about these things, and I do my best to reassure him.
Wade: Dad is tough. He’ll be okay.
Mason: I don’t know, Dub. This is different. I can’t imagine what he…
Mase pauses and looks over my shoulder. His eyes suddenly brighten.
Mason: Dad!
Dad is standing at the bottom of the stairs with one of Ma’s sweaters draped over his shoulders. Mase and I rush over.
Mason: Dad! Are you okay?
Wade: Can we get you something to eat?
Mason: We’re so worried about you!
Kai: *weak voice* No. I’m going to Willow Creek.
Wade: Now? That’s a long drive, and it’s late.
Kai: Yes, now. This isn’t something I want to put off. The funeral is tomorrow, but I want to make sure your ma is in her final resting place tonight.
Dad’s weary expression shuts down any argument.
Mason: We can come with you.
Dad stubbornly shakes his head.
Kai: This is something I need to do alone. I just spoke with Dray, and he’s on his way. I need you to stay here in case he arrives early.
Wade: Are you sure, Dad? We don’t both have to be here for that. I can drive you.
Kai: I’m not sure about anything anymore—except for this. I need to be alone with your mother for a while.
My loss doesn’t compare to what Dad is experiencing right now. But being without Maia these past few days has been silently killing me, so I can imagine what Dad is going through—even though I know I’ll see Maia again.
Mase and I make eye contact, silently agreeing to back down as Dad leaves.
Kai reaches Willow Creek at sunset. The drive to the cemetery feels longer than he remembers, and the walk to the Banks Dynasty tomb feels even longer. He has walked this path so many times before—first when his grandmother passed, then his Pop-Pop, and later his mother. But this time, it feels like he’s burying a part of himself. Nothing could have prepared him for losing the love of his life.
Kai enters the mausoleum and gently places Me-Me’s picture on the wall. Beneath it, a pedestal waits for her urn. He sets it down carefully, as if it weighs a ton—but it’s his heart that’s heavy.
Taking a step back, the grief overtakes him.
Kai: *sobbing* It should have been me, baby. I can’t do this without you.
I need air. I rush outside and settle by the pond, searching for solitude.
My Ma is gone. No one loved me like she did, and I’m sure no one ever will. She was the only woman in my life who forgave me, no matter what I did or said.
I hate thinking back to the times when I made her soft gray eyes darken into storm clouds. But I lived for the moments when those same eyes softened again, turning into light pools of love.
Anger builds inside me until it overflows, spilling down my cheeks as tears. It’s not fair to lose that kind of unconditional love.
Ma was beautiful and kind, even when she had to discipline me. She had my back—always standing as a buffer between Dad and me, quick to set things right when either of us was wrong. I’m going to miss her more than anything.
Then I think about how disappointed she must have been to see my marriage fall apart. She tried to help, but passed away before knowing if it made a difference.
I look up at the stars, hoping she’s somewhere out there, watching, ready to see me change my life for the better. I close my eyes, silently reinforcing that hope with a prayer.
Ma always loved the stars. Her favorite story about meeting Dad was how they lay under the night sky, and he’d listen while she named them.
I lie back on the ground, trying to see what she saw.
Before too long, I hear footsteps and turn to see Mase walking over. Wordlessly, he finds a spot and lies down beside me.
Mason: Ma always loved the stars.
Wade: Yeah, she did.
Mason: Remember how she used to talk about her and Dad watching the stars when they first met? It was right after Pop-Pop died.
I lie there, letting him retell it as if I’m hearing it for the first time.
Mase’s story winds down, and we continue staring up at the sky, listening to the sounds of the night.
Wade: Do you believe in guardian angels?
Mase pauses for a while before answering.
Mason: I don’t know—maybe? You?
Wade: I want to.
Mason: If they exist, I’m sure Ma is one of them.
Wade: Yeah, exactly.
A brief silence settles between us.
Mason: Have you heard from Dad yet?
Wade: No. But I talked to Dray—his flight is delayed, and he won’t make it in until tomorrow morning.
Mason: How’s he holding up?
Wade: About as well as the rest of us.
Mason exhales deeply, shaking his head.
Mason: I can’t believe we let Dad go to Willow Creek by himself. We should have insisted one of us go with him. It’s a long drive, and he barely got any sleep last night.
Wade: It’s what he wanted. It’s Dad. What could we do?
Mase and I settle into needless worry until Dad finally appears, walking up the path a few moments later.
Wade: Dad! You made it back!
Kai: Yeah. I didn’t think it would take as long as it did.
Mase and I jump up from the ground. Relief floods over me as I see him standing there, safe.
Without thinking, I rush over and pull him into my arms—like a little kid greeting his father at the end of a workday.
Mase follows suit, and afterward, we stand together as Dad tells us about the arrangements for Ma’s funeral.
It’s late, and tomorrow will be a long day.
I check my Social Bunny and see a message from Tami, expressing her sadness over losing her gran. It hurts that I’m not there by her side.
Once again, I’m failing her as a father.
But my efforts are fruitless. I lose track of time, forgetting how late it is, and my princess never fails to be herself. Her sleepy voice greets my call.
Tambara: *on the phone* Hello?
Wade: Tami, it’s me. I just wanted to check in and —
Tambara: What, Daddy? I’m sleeping. Call me tomorrow!
Tami ends the call. I can’t help but chuckle to myself.
Kai enters his bedroom to prepare for bed. He stands, staring at the spot where he saw his wife’s lifeless body. Me-Me’s absence overwhelms the space; it no longer smells the same, and the room feels empty and lifeless. There’s no way he’ll get any sleep here tonight.
In the bedroom next door, Mase softly caresses his wife’s cheek.
Mason: I love you, and I cannot bear to lose you.
Zoe: I love you too, and I’m not going anywhere—not for a very long time.
Despite the tough loss of the Banks family’s matriarch, the men eventually find their way to sleep—Mase in the arms of his wife, Kai on the living room couch, and Wade alone in the guest room.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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