On the ride home, Maia tells me about the break-in that occurred the morning Ma passed away. The news makes me feel like less of a man for failing to protect them. When we arrive home, I immediately get to work updating the alarm system—but not before offering an apology.
Wade: I can’t believe I wasn’t here when it happened. I failed you both, and I’m sorry.
Maia: *to Dub* You couldn’t have known.
Wade: It doesn’t matter. A man is supposed to protect his family.
Tami turns to Maia.
Tambara: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me someone broke in.
Mai: *to Tami* I didn’t want to worry you. You had enough going on.
I walk over to the alarm panel to start the upgrades.
Maia and Tami continue their conversation as they leave the foyer.
Tambara: *high-pitched, indignant tone* I’m not a baby, Mom. You should’ve told me.
Maia: You’re right, Tami. You’re not a baby. I’m sorry.
The break-in makes me want to reconsider moving out. What if it happens again? I quickly dismiss the thought and remind myself to respect Maia’s wishes. All I can do is what I’m doing: upgrade the alarm system. So, I continue my work.
Tami and Maia head in separate directions. Maia enters Dub’s office to work out on the treadmill, while Tami goes upstairs to check her grades on the computer in her bedroom. With so much going on in their lives lately, she’s found it hard to concentrate at school, and her “C” grades reflect that. She already knows they’re probably not good enough for university. Not that she wanted to go, anyway. It feels like a waste of some of her most important years. She’d rather get out and start living her young adult life, but that means finding something else to focus on—like horse racing. And oddly enough, that doesn’t make her sad.
After upgrading the alarm system with a police link in the main house, I walk next door to the rental unit to upgrade the system there as well. I’ll be moving out, but that won’t stop me from renting this place—even if it’s just to family and friends.
My legs freeze, and my heart practically jumps out of my chest when I cross the threshold and see someone with pink highlighter hair sitting at my kitchen table. I quickly recognize the brightly colored curls. It’s not a burglar—it’s Dray.
Wade: Dray, what the hell? You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?
My heart’s still pounding, but relief takes over. I cross the room and pull my baby brother into a hug.
Drake: We didn’t get to talk much at the funeral, so I stopped by on my way to the CE.
Wade: How the heck did you get in?
Drake: I knocked a few times, then tried the knob. It was unlocked.
I can’t believe my carelessness. Just yesterday, we had a break-in—and here I am forgetting to lock my darn door. Obviously, I’ve stayed within the safe comforts of Henford for too long.
Wade: I’m glad you’re here. I hate we didn’t get to talk earlier. I was dealing with wife and kid shit. *slight pause* How are you holding up? Losing Ma was so unexpected.
Drake: Yeah, but the worst part is, I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Wade: Crazy it happened while I was visiting. I would’ve felt the same way if I hadn’t been there.
We pause and reflect on our thoughts before Dray changes the subject.
Drake: I’m not exactly here for a social visit. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Wade: Okay, what’s up?
Drake: So, I’m on my way to the CE because Mariana and I are thinking about moving in together.
Wade: Right, I heard.
Drake: I want to make sure I can handle things right. Any advice?
Wade: You’re asking the guy who’s living in his rental house because his wife kicked him out? I’m not sure I should be the one you’re talking to about this.
Drake: Who better to ask? Maybe you can tell me what not to do.
Wade: *chuckles* Yeah, I guess you have a point.
I quickly check my phone to see the status of the alarm system in the rental, suddenly wondering why it didn’t go off when Dray walked in. Apparently, I left the door unlocked and forgot to arm it. I really need to get better at remembering these things.
Wade: Hope you don’t mind me working while we talk. I need to upgrade my alarm system. Someone broke in on Maia and Tami while I was in Henford. Rule number one when you move in with your girl—protect your home at all times!
Drake: Noted.
I pull the panel out of the alarm and get to work while mulling over what to say to Dray.
Wade: So, where did I go wrong in my relationship? I almost don’t know where to begin. Lack of communication, for a start.
Drake: We’ve been long-distance for a while now. All Mariana and I have done is communicate.
Wade: Okay, how about respect? That goes a long way.
Drake: This sounds very textbook so far.
Dray’s right. I’m sucking at giving big brother advice. I try another approach.
Wade: I’m gonna keep it real with you. I don’t know what the heck to do—probably like most guys in hetero relationships. Even Dad took a few missteps in his relationship with Ma. Just take it day by day. Something comes up—you handle it. But if you’re thinking about handling it alone without Mariana’s input—don’t. I’ve been there and done that. I took my wife for granted, and now here I am…in the doghouse. Don’t be me—that’s all I can really say. Don’t know if that helps.
Drake: It does, actually.
Wade: Really? Because I was just taking a shot in the dark.
Drake: Aren’t we all?
Wade: Basically.
Drake: Thanks, Dub. I’d better get on the road. It’s getting dark.
Wade: Be careful! And—thanks for stopping by.
Dray leaves as I finish up the upgrades on the system
It feels like the day has lasted forever. In that time, Maia has cycled through what feels like an entire lifetime of emotions. Part of her is ready to settle into a new version of normal. Dub wants to work on their relationship by trying counseling, and Maia wants to give it a shot. But another part of her wants to let go and start building a new life—just her and Tami. Her relationship with Dub has delayed things, and Maia wants a jumpstart.
She steps off the treadmill and heads into the kitchen in search of something to eat. She grabs the leftover stir-fry and joins Tami at the table.
Maia: Homework? On a Friday?
Tambara: Yeah, I missed exams today and I’m seriously behind.
Maia: I’m sorry about that. I probably should’ve gently suggested you stay home.
Tambara: It wouldn’t have made much of a difference. It is what it is.
Tami has a point. Their whole life right now ‘is what it is’… and they’ll just have to piece together what they can to make it through the rest of it.
Ever since Dray left, I’ve been thinking about the state of my relationship with Maia. We’re basically separated at this point, but still married. I can’t remember the last time we woohooed. Will it ever happen again between Maia and me? What do I do on lonely nights when the desire for her arises—especially if I move out? Am I wrong if I go out and find another woohoo partner? I can’t do that… because technically, it would be cheating, right? The whole thing is frustrating to think about. I wish I knew someone else who has gone through this.
I resign myself to the fact that I can’t do anything about any of that right now. Or can I? I pull out my laptop in search of solutions. The first thing I do is make an appointment for couples’ counseling. Maybe some outside input can help Maia and me decide on our next steps—no matter what direction that takes us.
Next, I begin my search for a place to live. I want something close, but in a nice neighborhood. Something in Gilbert Gardens might be good. I could look forward to jogging around the lake in the mornings—and maybe I can get my friend Luca to join me.
My efforts are not in vain, and I accomplish my goals. I set up a counseling appointment for the morning and send the information to Maia in a text—hopefully, she’s still willing. I also found a few prospective places to live, but one stands out among the rest. If I have time, I’ll check it out tomorrow as well.
Now that I have some free time, I figure I can work on my handiness skill so I can make further upgrades to our security systems before I move out. It’s the best way I can think of to keep Maia and Tami safe once I’m no longer living here.
But first—nature calls. I grab a handiness skill book off the shelf and head to the bathroom. Might as well learn something while I’m on the throne.
Tami is also skill-minded at the moment. Her grades may suck, and college might be out of the question, but there are still opportunities available to her. She’s a rich girl who owns a horse, and she’s already decided that Finesse will be the key to her future. Tami hasn’t seen her precious horse since her birthday—the same day her life blew up—but that won’t stop her from reading up and studying the techniques of horse riding. If she reads and increases her knowledge now, maybe she can make up for lost time once she’s back in the saddle. Tami grabs a book and gets started learning everything she needs to know for her potential new career.
Meanwhile, Maia heads to bed after answering the text from Dub. She’s agreed to attend the counseling appointment tomorrow morning. She doesn’t know if it will make any difference in how she’s feeling about her marriage. It sort of feels like grasping at straws—but maybe something will stick, and she and Dub can start mending what they’ve torn apart.
Just when I think I’m starting to piece things together, I end up standing in the bathroom, feeling just as broken as I was when the day began—only this time, I’m ironically holding a handiness book. I can learn everything in the world about fixing things, but a few screws and a wrench won’t mend my life. My wife and I are estranged, my ma is gone, and I have to move out of my home—away from my daughter. I close the book with one hand and stand there, sobbing into the bathroom sink.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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