Maia meets me out front, ready for our Cupid’s Counseling session. She looks amazing, and I can’t help but stare. We match as if we purposely coordinated—like a couple in love. I can only hope the therapy session plays out the same way.
The session takes place in the nearby small town of Glimmerbrook. Maia and I arrive with a few minutes to spare. We approach the therapist’s office and check in with the receptionist before being directed to a nearby room with what looks like drama club masks on the door. It’s mildly amusing.
A pleasantly cheerful voice greets us, inviting us in.
Annie: Good morning! You must be Maia and Wade. I’m Annie Hein, and I’m excited about working with you this morning. Please come in and make yourselves comfortable. I only have one rule here in my office: please silence your cell phones. We want to avoid all distractions.
I pull out my phone and follow her instructions before entering the room.
Annie sits in a chair by the window, and I follow Maia to the comfortable couch across from her. Maia settles on one end of the couch, and I take the other. It doesn’t feel like a good start. I’ve never been to therapy before, so I have no idea what to expect.
Will it be like what you see on TV, where she asks us to lie down and dig up our earliest childhood memories? Will it feel like a quiz show, with the therapist as the game host, firing off a hundred questions and expecting us to come up with all the right answers? Or will she just sit there, silently watching us until we feel so self-conscious we erupt into a confession-fueled spiral of regrets?
Annie: First, I commend you both for seeking support as you navigate your relationship. It’s not always a simple decision, and I admire your bravery. I want to begin by asking how each of you is feeling—right now, in this moment. Let’s start with you, Wade. Please close your eyes and look within. What feelings are you sensing in your body today?
So far, so good. That’s easy. There’s only one emotion I’m feeling right now.
Wade: I’m feeling angry!
Annie nods slowly, as if reading my mind and agreeing with my assessment.
Annie: That’s understandable, and I’m sorry you feel that way. I always think of emotions like a turbulent swarm of bees. Have you ever tried to run away from a swarm of bees? I’d bet you couldn’t.
My dad raises bees on our farm. When I visit, I stay far away from them. Can I do that with my emotions too?
Annie continues her metaphor.
Annie: We must run toward the bees. That’s what we’re going to work on this morning. Yes, the bees will sting. But we must accept the sting—it’s the only way your relationship can blossom. We have to get stung by the bees.
This sounds painful and far more than I’m ready for this morning. I don’t want to get stung. I want to get up and leave.
Annie turns her sympathetic eyes toward Maia.
Annie: What about you, Maia? How are you feeling today?
Maia: It may sound strange, but I’ve worked my way through so many tough situations lately that I honestly can’t complain.
Annie’s face lights up, and I’m left alone on my island of despair.
Annie: That’s so great to hear! Soak it up, Maia! Life can be like a chaotic dance.
I sigh as Annie launches into another metaphor. This is feeling like an English literature class. How much is this costing me again?
Annie: *continuing* Our motivations ebb and flow like the wind. We must take care of ourselves first before we can devote ourselves to others. Start getting to know the person within Maia!
I’m sitting here, getting angrier by the minute. Is this bullshit really supposed to help us reconnect? Because it sure feels like Maia is already winning at therapy.
Annie takes a dramatic pause, glancing from me to Maia and back again.
Annie: Let’s get to the root of why we’re here. What are you struggling with in your relationship?
Is everything an acceptable answer, or will that just send Annie down another metaphorical rabbit hole? She stares at us, waiting for one of us to speak. I side-eye Maia, who’s looking way too chill and relaxed. Am I the only one stressed out here?
After nearly a minute of silence, Annie fills the gap.
Annie: Most couples come to me to work on lost attraction, or to explore romantic satisfaction. Sometimes, it’s about their romantic dynamics—
I cut her off. If Maia won’t speak up, I will.
Wade: That one—the dynamics thing!
Annie smiles, suddenly looking very excited—at our expense.
Annie: And can you elaborate on that, Wade? What does that mean to you?
Isn’t she supposed to be the one giving answers? I have no idea how to respond.
Wade: I’m tired of the dynamic in our relationship. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells—as if everything I say or do is wrong. I want to stop all this bullshi—uh, crap—and build something meaningful, but Maia is holding me back! When can I move back into my house and sleep next to my wife?
Annie nods. Is she agreeing, or just encouraging me to keep talking? I stop before I dig myself into a hole I can’t climb out of. Luckily, Annie lets me off the hook and turns to Maia.
Annie: And Maia, you’ve been quiet so far. How does hearing that make you feel?
Maia: I feel like he doesn’t take my feelings seriously. Calling what we’re going through “bullshit” completely ignores and devalues how I feel. He makes it sound like I should just “get over” everything and take him back.
Annie: Wade, do you blame Maia for kicking you out of the house? Did you play any part in that?
I try to calm down, realizing I’m veering off course. Yesterday, I made a few positive steps forward, and in the last few minutes, I’ve taken eight steps back. It’s time to take some responsibility.
Wade: *defeated* No. It’s not her fault. It’s me. I’m the f-up.
Annie: Maia?
Maia: It’s not just him. I have some things to work on too.
Annie: It sounds like you’re both hurting—but also taking responsibility, which is what eventually leads to healing. These conversations aren’t easy. I commend you both on your courage. And I’ll remind you—this is a safe space.
Annie studies us for a moment before continuing.
Annie: How are you both feeling about each other, right now, at this moment?
Wade: I feel—
I try to answer, but Annie gently interrupts.
Annie: Please, say it to Maia.
I turn to Maia and blurt out the truth.
Wade: I really don’t like you very much right now.
Maia recoils, so I try to soften it.
Wade: *continuing* I mean—I still love you with all of my heart. But I’m feeling bitter about a few things, and I don’t feel you moving in the same direction I am. There’s nothing but resistance from you. I know I’ll get over it eventually, but sometimes…I don’t think I can.
Maia: So, it’s my fault?
Wade: *frustrated* No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. You make me feel—
Annie cuts in.
Annie: This is good. I love this dialogue, but might I suggest we try “I” statements? Wade, instead of “you make me feel,” let’s try “I feel” with that next statement, okay?
What’s the freaking difference? But we’re both here to learn and improve, so I go along with it.
Wade: I feel like this is hopeless, because I don’t believe you want this to work. I need you to tell me…
I remember Annie’s note about “you” statements and attempt to correct myself.
Wade: I need some guidance. Tell me what I need to do to get us back to how we were. But if you’re not interested in getting back together, then tell me that—so we can both move on.
Annie: Wade, do you believe it’s Maia’s responsibility to guide you in this relationship? Because it sounds a little like a parent/child dynamic.
A parent/child dynamic. What is she implying?
Wade: No—not guide me. But at least tell me what she freaking wants! I’m at a loss here. Does she want this marriage or not?
Annie: Maybe you should try asking Maia directly?
Wade: I just did!
Annie: When you say “she,” it sounds like it’s directed at me.
I sigh deeply at Annie’s obsession with word choice and change my wording, but I’m too angry to give Maia eye contact.
Wade: Maia, do you want to be married to me or not?
I brace myself for the answer.
Maia: Sometimes I don’t know.
Maia’s answer punctures my gut. I can feel myself deflating.
Maia: *continuing* I always had reservations about marriage—you know that. But then Tami came along, and marriage felt like the right thing to do.
Annie: Is that a no? Do you want out of this marriage?
Maia: Yes and no. I love him—
Annie nods her head toward me, so Maia turns to face me.
Maia: I love you, Dub. But sometimes this relationship feels exhausting. I feel like I’m raising two children instead of one.
I can feel tears stinging my eyes and my manhood shriveling up in my pants. Her words hurt deeply—they make me want to give it all up.
The energy in the room has shifted. Annie intervenes right on time.
Annie: I want to try something. Can the two of you look at one another and share a few things you love about each other? What brought y’all together? Wade, I want you to begin.
A sniffle betrays me. I wipe my nose before I respond.
Wade: She’s gorgeous—look at her!
I turn to face Maia before Annie can prompt me, and continue.
Wade: I didn’t know what to do with myself when I first saw you. You took my breath away. And when I got to know you, you helped me through a tough situation. Remember when you came to Del Sol with me when I won that award? I was close to giving up and walking away, but you encouraged me and made me believe I belonged there.
I can see Maia becoming emotional as tears gather in her eyes. I pause to steady myself. It might be a safe space, but I still want to hang on to the last of my manhood—and avoid the waterworks.
Annie: Anything else?
I turn back to Annie, and this time she lets me talk without interjecting with instructions.
Wade: She’s the best mother to our daughter. And I know she struggles with her emotions sometimes, but she’s risen to the occasion—especially during the moments when I’ve failed as a parent. I honestly wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to leave me, because I can be a lot. I say that I’m angry, but I’m more angry at myself. She’s just an easier target.
Annie waits to see if I have more to say before turning to Maia.
Annie: Maia, same thing. What do you love about Wade? What brought the two of you together?
Maia looks at me.
Maia: You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. I love that Tami inherited them. I see you whenever she looks at me. When we first met, I was insanely attracted to you.
Wade: You never told me that before. I didn’t think you liked me.
Maia: I did, but I didn’t feel worthy of you. I knew you came from money, and I couldn’t understand why you were even talking to me. But I loved your accent, even though you kept denying you had one. The first time we were—together intimately, you were so gentle and took your time with me. There was so much love in your touch. Woohoo with you was like therapy. I don’t know how we lost that, but we did—somewhere along the way.
Wade: I’m sorry. I’d give anything to get back to that, Maia. I just want us to try.
Annie: I can tell there’s a lot of love here.
Maia responds without looking away.
Maia: I never said I don’t love him.
Wade: Me either.
Maia: But I don’t know if we can ever find our way back.
Wade: Can we try? Please, baby. Say you’re willing to try.
I can detect some hesitation, but Maia slowly nods.
Maia: Yes. We can try.
Annie suddenly interjects—just when Maia and I are finally having a moment. I turn to see her looking down at her phone.
Annie: Well, folks! I feel we’ve made some headway here, but I’m afraid we’re out of time for this session.
Wade: *disappointed* So that’s it?
Annie: I’d love to dive into this more, but there’s only so much we can get done here. The rest is up to the two of you. I’m thrilled to hear you’re willing to try, so I want you to set a goal for next week.
I can feel the anger rising again. Maia and I are finally heading in the right direction, and now the session’s over.
Wade: A goal—like homework?
Annie nods enthusiastically.
Annie: Exactly! It can be something like trying to increase attraction to each other—though I don’t see that as a problem for you two. You could try doing something new together. Or it can be something else entirely.
Wade: How about a date? I want to plan the perfect date!
Annie chuckles, which I find incredibly condescending.
Annie: Well, I wouldn’t use the word perfect. There’s no such thing as a perfect date, and striving for one could add more strain to your relationship. I admire the ambition, though! I’m excited for the two of you. You can pay the receptionist. See you next week!
Next week? So what happens between now and then? Should I still move out?
I feel even more lost than when we arrived. Anger propels me out of my seat and out the door.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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