The joy in Xavier’s voice is unmistakable when I call to ask if it’s okay to bring Tami to see Finesse. He’s out in the yard, grinning with all his teeth showing when we arrive in Chestnut Ridge about an hour later.
As soon as we arrive, Tami makes a beeline for her horse. I call after her—
Wade: Make sure you thank Mr. Xavier for letting us come on such short notice.
Tami obeys as she runs past him.
Tambara: Thank you, Mr. Xavier!
Xavier: Y’all welcome anytime, Little Miss. It’s so good to see ya!
I doubt Tami hears any of that. I walk over to thank him properly.
Wade: I’m sorry about that. She’s glad you let us come.
Xavier: I understand. It’s been a while since I’ve seen y’all. How ya been?
I have my shades on. They act as a barrier, hiding the tears that build the moment I think about everything that’s happened since our last visit to Chestnut Ridge. This place marks the beginning of the end for me. It’s where I chose to go behind Maia’s back, a decision that put a serious strain on my marriage. I take a deep breath and speak slowly, trying not to let my voice expose me.
Wade: Things have been better, but I guess they could also be worse.
Despite my best effort to hide it, Xavier picks up on my emotion.
Xavier: Sorry to hear that, son.
Tami hears her dad and Mr. Xavier speaking quietly about something. She can almost guess what it is, but none of that matters right now. Finesse is the reason she’s here. She grabs the horse’s saddle and puts it on, just like she’s seen Mr. Xavier do a few times. She’s also picked up a few new tricks from her horse-riding books and a couple of SimTube videos.
Once the saddle is in place, Tami climbs up and heads toward the gate.
Her dad and Mr. Xavier say something to her as they head toward the house. She catches a word or two. Be careful, and maybe some other cautionary nonsense is probably mixed in, but everything gets lost in the wind and tangled in her thoughts.
All she hears are the thuds of Finesse’s trotting hooves and the quickened beat of her own heart, fueled by the adrenaline of being back in the saddle. Her eyes focus on the open land ahead.
Tami squeezes Finesse’s sides with her legs.
Tambara: Show me what there is to see.
The horse picks up speed and carries her through the gate. Tami’s pounding heart matches the hurried pace as she tightens her grip on the reins.
Tami is the student and Finesse is the teacher, with the horse responding to even the slightest change in Tami’s demeanor. When Tami feels afraid, her heart beats fast and her feet lift uncertainly above the horse’s sides. In response, the horse slows its pace. But when Tami relaxes, lowers her legs with confidence, and sits tall with her back straight and head held high, Finesse picks up speed. It’s like a slow dance, with horse and girl reacting to each other’s subtle movements.
I had no plans to tell Xavier what happened between Maia and me since he last saw us. But sitting in his cozy living room loosens my tongue, and before I know it, I’m spilling all my secrets. I even mention our brief stint in couples’ therapy.
Wade: I’ll be moving out soon. I found a place, and if they accept my bid, I’ll be living across town.
Xavier: That’s a shame. You’re such a good-looking couple. I hope things work out for ya. And maybe you can hold on to your friendship. Believe me, there’s a worse way for a relationship to end. Yessir, trust me on that.
I try to recall what Xavier said last time about his own failed marriage. I believe he mentioned his wife running off to the city with another man. That’s a rough one.
Outside, Tami and Finesse return from their brief tour of the town and finish practicing barrel runs in front of Xavier’s small ranch. Eventually, the horse tires and slows down. Tami climbs off and removes the saddle, just before her father comes over to announce that it’s time to go.
Tami leads her horse back to Xavier’s barn, and we hop in the car to head home. I assume horse riding is more taxing than it appears, because Tami falls asleep as soon as I shift the car into drive. She naps the entire ride, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Most of them are about Maia, but also about Tami.
There’s no doubt our relationship will change if we no longer live in the same house. I grew up with both of my parents. My dad was there when I woke up and there when I went to bed. If I needed to talk to him, he was always just a few steps away. How can I be the best father I can be if I no longer see my daughter every day?
I know I made parenting mistakes with Tami as she was growing up, and me moving out is Maia’s way of fixing that—but how can I make up for it now?
When we arrive home, I gently shake Tami out of her slumber, and we step out of the car. She rewards me with a kiss on the cheek.
Tambara: Thanks for taking me.
Wade: You’re welcome.
Tami turns as if to walk away, but I stop her. I haven’t moved out yet, but I suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of missing her. I need to take advantage of every moment I still have.
Wade: One second, Princess.
Tambara: Yes, Daddy?
There’s nothing specific to say. I just don’t want to say goodbye.
Wade: I wanted to know how you’re doing. What’s going on in your life?
She stands there looking a little confused, but then her expression shifts to excitement.
Tambara: Uh, my social media is growing! I have some new followers on my Social Bunny.
Wade: Nice. Can I see?
Tami pulls out her phone and stands close.
Tambara: See? Almost 600 followers now.
She scrolls through her dash.
Tambara: And look! Here’s a message from Desi. Oh shoot, I should’ve taken some pictures with Finesse. I probably could’ve gone viral.
Tami speeds through a few more messages, and I notice one person showing up more frequently than the others.
Wade: Who’s Enzo?
Tami stiffens.
Tambara: Nobody. Just a boy from school.
She scrolls faster.
Wade: Wait, go back. Is that you in a picture with him?
Tami quickly pulls her phone away and stuffs it into her pocket.
Tambara: It’s way past my bedtime. Goodnight, Daddy.
Wade: No, it’s not. It’s only nine. I want to know more about this Enzo.
By now, I’m talking to her back. Tami quickens her steps, enters the house, and shuts the door behind her. There’s obviously something she doesn’t want me to know. I need to find out more about this Enzo character. I wonder if Maia knows anything.
Enzo is still on my mind when I enter the rental. I already don’t like him. I think about Clyde and how he waved his cane in my face when I first met him. Now I see where he was coming from. Maybe Clyde should have done more to chase me away, because I’ve done exactly what he warned me about. I hurt his daughter.
I should get a cane. If I ever meet this Enzo kid, I might give him a few good smacks across the head to keep Tami from going through what I put Maia through.
Now isn’t the best time for me to be moving out, but it’s inevitable—especially after I check my email and see that my offer on the house has been approved. The place is mine, and I can move in whenever I’m ready.
I’m just about to shut down my computer and head to bed when I hear a soft knock at the door. I call out for the person to come in without thinking. It could be anyone, although I doubt a robber would knock so gently.
I’m shocked when the door opens and Maia walks in holding a plate.
Maia: I have pizza. It’s from my food stand this morning.
Wade: Tami told me about it. I hope it went well. I’m not hungry right now, but save me a piece.
Maia sits down across from me and starts eating, but I can tell her mind is a million miles away.
Wade: Is everything okay? I’ve been giving a lot of thought to planning the date the therapist suggested. I’ve also been thinking about what you might want to do.
Maia takes another bite of pizza. Her movements are strange and mechanical, like an automaton. I keep going.
Wade: I went back to that barbecue place you love and tried the ribs. Can’t believe I missed out on that the first time.
She takes another bite, her expression growing more distressed. I keep filling the silence.
Wade: And I remember how much you love the Manzanita Market. Maybe we could take a walk on the docks nearby, or you could show me the food stand again. Next time you set up, I’ll make sure to stop by.
My enthusiasm does nothing to lift her mood. I finally stop talking.
Wade: Maia? Is something wrong?
Maia gets up to put the rest of the pizza in the refrigerator. When she turns back, I’m standing in her way, so she has no choice but to face me.
Wade: What’s going on? If it’s about me moving out, I found a place. I can be out of here tomorrow if that’s what you want.
Maia’s mouth opens, then closes again. She looks like she’s battling a killer headache, or as if speaking physically hurts. Finally, words come out.
Maia: I want a divorce, Wade.
Now I’m the one in pain. It hits me in the heart, sinks into my stomach, and lands hard in my groin. It would’ve been better if she’d just kicked me there.
Wade: But the therapist… she gave us homework. The date.
Maia: I’m sorry, Wade. It’s just too little, too late.
I feel like I’m drowning, gasping for air.
Wade: No. What do you mean? I’m doing the work. I’ve been thinking about everything I missed. I can fix it now.
Maia: I don’t want to do this anymore, Dub. I can’t.
Wade: Do what? I’m doing what you asked me to do. I told Tami “no” today. Maia, please don’t do this.
Maia: I have to go.
She walks past me toward the door, while I stay frozen, trying to think of anything, anything at all that might make her stay. My mind betrays me, and all I find are blanks.
And then the tears come. They fall so quickly that I almost choke on them. I’m frozen in place, but everything around me moves too fast. Maia reaches the door in an instant, and when she closes it, I feel the slam as if I’m standing right on the threshold, close enough for it to hit me in the face. The vibration ripples through my entire body.
My wife, my friend for so many years, is gone. It’s over.
I can literally hear my heart breaking. Then I realize it’s the sound of my own sobs.
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
Thanks for reading! Please hit the “like” button if you’ve enjoyed what you read! Keep scrolling if you’d like to leave a comment. 🥰
