I wake up the next morning after receiving some bad news about my Pop-Pop passing away. If I got the message, I know Daddy did too. I leave my bedroom, walking like I suddenly weigh a ton, and go to find him.
He’s in the front room, fully dressed, with his suitcase on the dining room table. He walks over when he sees me.
Tambara: Are you okay? I just heard about Pop-Pop.
Wade: He tried to call me yesterday while we were out on the beach. But I missed it.
Tambara: *shocked* Do you think he knew?
Daddy’s eyes fill with tears.
Wade: I don’t know. Now I’ll never know. I tried to call back as soon as I checked my phone, but there was no answer. Mase found him this morning.
My eyes dart over to Daddy’s suitcase.
Tambara: Are you leaving?
Wade: Yeah. I figured Mase would need my help to make the arrangements. He’s always been incredibly sensitive about these types of things. I can’t leave him on his own.
Tambara: Give me a second to get dressed and packed—
Wade: You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.
I pause and take in what Daddy just said.
Tambara: Are you joking? Shouldn’t I come with you?
Wade: To do what? I have it all covered.
Tambara: I feel bad about being on vacation with everything going on.
Wade: I know how you felt about Dad, so I understand if you want to leave with me. And I know it’ll be tough dealing with it on your own. But nothing is waiting for us back in Henford except old memories of him. I think you should stay, since everything is paid for.
Daddy walks over and picks up his suitcase.
Stay?
Although my stomach bunches into tight knots at the thought of never seeing my beloved Pop-Pop again, the idea of being here in Tomarang alone is strangely appealing. I can do what I want, when I want. The thought of independence wins over grief.
I can’t ignore the pain in Daddy’s eyes. There are dark circles under them, like he hasn’t slept, and tears sit on the rims, threatening to spill over at any moment. How would I feel if I missed a call from him just moments before he passed away?
Tambara: Will you be okay? On the flight back alone?
Wade: I’ll be spending most of the flight trying to figure out what Dad wanted to say. And if I’m lucky, I’ll get some sleep, but I think I’ll be okay.
I can hear the internal struggle in his voice. He’s beating himself up.
Tambara: You couldn’t have known he was going to pass away. Don’t be so hard on yourself. He would’ve been glad you had a chance to get away.
Wade: True. He’d probably repeat what Ma once told him—that it’s our job to keep living, because it honors the dead who no longer have life. *brief pause* My flight leaves within the hour. I’d better go.
Daddy and I share a hug before he heads out the door.
I’m alone at last.
There’s only one problem—it’s raining again. I wish the weather here would make up its mind. Does it want to be warm or rainy?
I try to warm up some of the leftover food I bought at the market yesterday, which turns out to be a bad idea. When I sit down to eat it, it’s cold and soggy in the middle and doesn’t taste nearly as good as it did yesterday. It’s like eating wet cardboard. I can’t even finish it.
After getting dressed for another chilly day, I pull out my phone to look for indoor things to do. I definitely won’t be on the beach, but maybe I can find something just as good. It doesn’t take long to find the perfect activity—there’s a luxury spa not far from the rental.
Is there a better way to spend the day?
There’s a lot to complain about, but the rain is a mild drizzle compared to yesterday. I’m glad it’s not heavy enough to ruin the entire day. The spa is calling me, so I don’t dwell for long. I enter the locker room and change into a towel.
There are a few things I can do here, but my first stop is a massage. I’ve never had one before—I was too young the time my mom and I visited the spa in Del Sol Valley. And now I get why it’s not an activity for kids.
My chosen massage therapist uses aromatic oil and rubs his hands together to warm it up. I practically melt into the table as he works the oil into my back. The powerful scent surrounds me, waking me up in more ways than one. It’s a sensual experience, and I can feel my body responding in ways I didn’t expect. Is this what woohoo feels like?
The tension of losing Pop-Pop has built up in my shoulders, but soon it all gets gently rubbed away. By the time the therapist finishes, I’m ready to propose.
The massage is over. I climb off the table feeling weak in the knees, but also loose and amazing all over. This may not be the sexy trip I dreamed of, but this massage comes close.
Next up: a manicure and pedicure. Now that my back and shoulders are relaxed, it’s time to pamper my extremities.
The pedicurist works quietly, which I appreciate. I’m not in the mood to hold a conversation. Plus, what would we even talk about? I listen to the soft music coming from the speakers as she massages each toe, files down my toenails, and paints them.
Next, I move over to the manicurist, who is a guy. He works diligently and quietly too.
A girl could get used to this. I’m ready to make spa days a regular habit. A princess should be pampered, right?
By the end of the session, my hands and feet look fantastic.
Feeling on top of the world after my mani and pedi, I’m practically skipping to the sauna. This is what a trip to another country should be about.
I sit in the warm steam for as long as I dare, with sweat building on my face and forehead. I’m alone with my thoughts, which drift on autopilot, replaying everything Daddy said before he left. Just like him, I wish I knew what Pop-Pop wanted to say in those last moments. But it’s useless. I could think about it for a hundred years and still never know for sure.
I quickly realize saunas have a time limit for a reason. If I stay any longer, I’ll definitely turn into a prune. I reluctantly return to the locker room and change back into my regular clothes. But in my head, I’m already trying to figure out how to fit another spa day into my schedule before I leave.
I step into the bathroom off to the side and almost jump for joy when I see there’s an actual toilet.
There’s still a steady drizzle, but nothing my umbrella can’t handle. I make my way back to the night market, my mouth already watering for another local delight.
Today’s choice: Pancit Bihon. It’s really just a simple stir-fry with the perfect amount of meat and vegetables, but the seasonings go a long way in elevating the dish. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the meal of royalty.
My adventures at the night market end fairly early, and I return to the rental, once again wondering if I should find another place to stay. Is it too late to book a room at a resort? Then again, booking something else would mean using my own money—not Daddy’s. And although I’m tempted, I can’t call him up and ask for more.
I guess this place will have to do. But I’m happy to report that I’ve finished my first Tomarang things-to-do list.
Being alone feels a lot heavier than I anticipated, especially now that it’s night and the dark seems to have taken on a sinister personality. I’m suddenly missing Daddy and wishing I had someone, anyone, here with me. I try not to think about Enzo and resist the urge to call or message him.
I turn on the TV to the romance channel for some background noise, but watching a dating show doesn’t make me feel any less lonely. My eyes suddenly tear up as I think about Pop-Pop and everything I’ll miss about him. He was always so kind to me. He gave hugs that made me feel like I’d always be safe. Daddy calls me princess, but Pop-Pop made me feel like I really was one.
And on top of that, he was very handsome. He wasn’t like other people’s grandparents—old and decrepit. When I was a child, I thought I could grow up and marry him until I learned that’s not how things like that work.
Eventually, I get tired of feeling bad and end the night soaking in a tub with a citrus soak I bought at the spa. Sure, soaking in a tub won’t bring Pop-Pop back, but at least it eases the physical discomfort of grieving him.
(Generation 5 Chapter Summaries)
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