After our pool fiasco, Udom and I separate into different dressing rooms to shower and change into warmer clothes. We meet again on the bottom floor, because neither of us is quite ready to say goodbye. At least I’m not.
As we step onto the dance floor, I realize how much I like this guy. If the situation were different, he’s someone I could see myself falling for—which is crazy. I don’t know anything about him. Who are his parents? Does he have ambition, or is he content being a lifeguard? But as the questions swirl in my head, I realize it’s probably better to just enjoy the moment.
We dance to a couple of faster songs, letting the beats take over our bodies like two people possessed. Eventually, the music slows to something more mid-tempo. Without hesitation, Udom steps closer, takes my hand, and pulls me in. His warm hand fits perfectly in mine. His arms feel like home.
Udom: I’m glad to have met you.
Hearing him say things like that doesn’t make it any easier. The chemistry between us is obvious, but does he like me as much as I already like him?
Tambara: Yeah, me too. You’re the most interesting person I’ve met since I’ve been here. I hate to leave tomorrow.
Udom: Do you have to, you know, leave tomorrow?
I can feel my emotions being squeezed as he adds to the pile of reasons I wish I could stay.
Tambara: Yeah. My pop-pop passed away yesterday. I have to get back to attend his funeral.
Udom: I’m so sorry to hear that.
The music picks up again, and I’m glad. I’m not trying to spend my last night here being sad about Pop-Pop. I’d rather leave that where it lies for now. In less than 24 hours I’ll be out of here, so in the meantime, I decide to show Udom what I can do on the dance floor. I take a few steps back to give myself room and sway my hips to the music. Udom follows my lead, proving he’s no stranger to the dance floor. He’s an amazing dancer, which makes him that much more attractive.
After a few more songs, I’m sweaty and out of breath. I pull out my phone to check the time. It’s late, and I realize I’ve been here almost all day.
Tambara: Wow! That late already. I’d better get out of here. I have some packing to do.
Udom: I won’t hold you then. But, can I give you my number before you leave?
I wouldn’t mind if he held me, but I know that’s not what he meant. He gives me his number, and I add it to my phone. But that’s not good enough for me, so I say something crazy—shocking myself as I throw it out there.
Tambara: I mean, you can come with. There’s a hot tub—it’s much better than being cold in a pool.
For the second time today, Udom accepts my invitation. We squeeze into a much-too-tiny tuk tuk, with me practically sitting on his lap. I have no complaints as the little vehicle bumps along toward the rental, forcing Udom to wrap his arms around my waist to hold me steady. My thoughts flip back and forth between enjoying his embrace and asking myself what the heck I’m getting myself into.
Once we arrive, we strip down again into our swimwear, but this time the cold doesn’t faze us much.
Tambara: This is much better, right?
Udom: Definitely. It’s the only water I’m willing to sit in right now.
Tambara: Yeah, me too.
A thought crosses my mind.
Tambara: When do you think you’ll be back in Willow Creek again? It’s far from San Sequoia, but I’ve been thinking about relocating to Chestnut Ridge, which is just a hop away.
Udom: Yeah, my father and I have spent some time in Chestnut Ridge—interesting place.
He hasn’t answered my question.
A chilly breeze blows over us, giving me the perfect excuse to move closer. We sit side by side, but Udom doesn’t show any signs of making a move. I take a chance and slip my arm around him.
Udom: Are you cold?
Tambara: A little.
Udom: I’m sorry.
He scoots closer, and we snuggle in silence for a few moments. My mind races as I try to figure out how to proceed with the thoughts crossing my head. Is this my chance to have a vacation fling?
Udom releases me, and I slide over to give my thoughts some space. This is one of those moments that could go in a dozen directions. I weigh my options, trying to decide the best way forward. We lock eyes, and I take another chance, nervously brushing my fingers through the water.
Tambara: So… how does this usually work?
Udom: What?
Tambara: You know, vacation hookups?
Udom: You mean woohoo? Have you ever done it before?
I lie, trying to come off grown.
Tambara: Yeah.
Amusement flickers across Udom’s face, and I know he sees straight through me.
Udom: I don’t believe you. Anyway, I don’t know. This isn’t something I usually do.
Tambara: Oh.
The thought crosses my mind that he might be inexperienced too, though I don’t really believe that. He seems to wrestle with it for a few minutes before making up his mind.
Udom: I think maybe I should go.
Smiling, he stands and climbs out of the hot tub.
Udom quickly dresses as I hurry out of the hot tub after him.
Tambara: Why? Aren’t you attracted to me?
I regret the question as soon as it leaves my lips. Even I realize how it makes me sound like a whiny child. But I can’t help it. Why is he rejecting me?
Udom: Of course I am. You’re incredible, but—
That’s all I need to hear. I lean in and cut off his words with my mouth. He hesitates for a moment, surprised, before responding and kissing me back.
I step back to evaluate his reaction. His eyes look conflicted.
Udom: Tambara, I like you. I really do, but I don’t think I could just woohoo with you and have that be all.
As he says it, I ask myself if I could. Would one moment of intimacy with him be enough? Could I really go home and forget about him?
Tambara: Well, you didn’t answer my question. When will you be back in Willow Creek?
Udom: That’s the thing. I don’t know. I’m focused on settling here. I just found a new apartment, and then there’s work…
It sounds like a lot of excuses. Maybe he doesn’t like me as much as I like him. What guy turns down woohoo?
Tambara: So is that it, then? We say goodbye now and never see each other again?
Udom: You have my contact info, and you can add me on Social Bunny. My last name is Price. Let’s start with that.
Another snag in the thread I’ve been trying to pull together. I was ready to give myself to a guy without even knowing his last name. I pull out my phone to find him, and when I finally look up, he’s already walking away.
I’m not about to run after him, so I just stand there and watch until my eyes blur with tears and he disappears around the corner.
I enter the house alone, unable to hold back the tears, angry at myself for letting a guy I barely know get under my skin. This is not how I pictured things, and it’s nothing like the romance movies I’ve seen. I feel foolish, replaying every word I said to him. Why couldn’t I just let things flow naturally? No wonder he walked away. I don’t blame him. My attempts at sounding grown up blew up in my face.
Now I have to face the truth: other than on Social Bunny, I’ll probably never see him again. The thought makes my chest ache, and I can feel the tears rising, but not for long. I have to pack, and tears won’t help with that. I wipe them away, straighten my posture, and walk towards the bedroom.
(Generation 5 Chapter Summaries)
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