I wake up feeling pretty rough, with Udom’s beautiful, angular face and those soft eyes refusing to leave my mind. On top of that, the rest of the day’s events weigh heavily on my shoulders. It would have been comforting to have Udom by my side this morning, giving me the chance to feel something other than dread for the funeral in just a few hours.
I do my best to pull myself together in the shower. Then I head to the kitchen for leftovers, but the food tastes like cardboard, and most of it ends up in the trash. With nothing to distract me or keep my mind busy, I give up, grab my suitcase, and head to the airport. If I can’t shake my reluctance to leave Udom behind, the only thing left is to get it over with.
Most people return from vacation and get to go home and relax. Me? My first stop after coming back from Tomarang is the cemetery to bury my Pop-Pop. I arrive and step out of my rideshare, finding some comfort in being around family again. My mom is there, along with my uncles and cousins. Dad smiles when he sees me, his eyes tired and puffy as if he spent the entire night crying. He pulls me into a strong hug right away.
Wade: I’m glad you made it!
He says it as if I had a choice. Did I have a choice? No. It’s my duty to be here for Pop-Pop, so skipping it and staying in Tomarang another day was never an option.
I greet and hug my mom and my uncles, who are in no better shape than Dad. We all walk solemnly to the back corner of the cemetery. Pop-Pop smiles at me from his picture on the podium, in the same spot where the pictures of other family members have rested over the years. I try to resist getting overly emotional as I stare at it.
The location feels far too familiar, and with so many family members, I cannot deny that I will be in this same spot, head bowed in silence, many more times. The regrets pile up as I stand there, feeling an odd presence behind me. An icy chill teases my senses, daring me to look back. I refuse and instead take a big step forward.
Dad asks us all to take our seats. I sit next to Mom as he begins his eulogy. His voice is strong and sure, with just a hint of emotion bubbling beneath the surface. A few times he pauses and blinks back tears, but at other moments he adds the perfect amount of humor—the comedic break we all need to hold ourselves together. I even hear Mom chuckle beside me as Daddy’s words weave a story of what it was like growing up with Pop-Pop.
Wade: Dad had a knack for knowing when to be tough and when to be patient, which came in handy when raising three boys. I don’t know which of us tested him the most, but it had to be a contest between Drake and me. I was the squeamish one, always trying to avoid farm work, and Drake pushed every button and tested every limit he could. Dad always said I was allergic to dust and dirt, and Drake was drawn to trouble. I’m sure he felt lucky to have our brother Mase to balance us out.
Once Daddy’s eulogy is over, he wipes away a few tears and steps from the podium, giving other family members a chance to share their memories of Pop-Pop. He was loved by so many, and everyone has only good things to say about him. I feel compelled to stand and speak, but my legs suddenly feel as though they cannot support the weight of my body, so I remain seated and let the others honor Pop-Pop.
We shift in our seats, stand, bow in remembrance, and sit again through more of the ceremony. It finally ends with Daddy holding a candle, his hands trembling as he struggles to light it. Our family gathers close as he leads a brief prayer, which surprises me, because I cannot recall ever hearing Daddy pray before. Ours is not a religious family, but I suppose the Watcher’s presence is there regardless of belief.
Despite my best efforts, emotion builds up, especially when Daddy asks us to join him in the family tomb. These last twenty-four hours feel as though they have been nothing but goodbyes, first with Udom and now with Pop-Pop.
I do not have time for tears. I shed enough of them last night. If I allow them to start again, I fear I will not be strong enough to stop, so I wipe them away and follow Daddy and a few other family members.
Wade: This turned out well. Dad would have been pleased.
Maia: Yes, I agree.
This small room is not unfamiliar to me. I have a vivid memory of Pop-Pop telling me stories about all the family members who had passed away. His stories of our family history were as lively as the tales in my favorite books. He seemed to know so much, but now I realize it was because they were all still alive when he was young. For me, they are only faces on a wall. I turn away, my attention shifting to the other side of the room, the part we all naturally avoid talking about.
Empty pedestals line the walls opposite where we stand. Above them are blank spaces, just large enough for more pictures. I never noticed them before. Part of me lingers in denial as I ask myself who those pedestals are meant for. Then the realization strikes: they are for my dad, my mom, and me as well. The thought is unsettling. This family tomb feels like a time machine where past and future collide, and I am not ready to consider where we belong in that inevitable collision.
I remain there, feet rooted to the floor by awe, dread, and the weight of my own mortality. I count the remaining pedestals and turn the number over in my mind.
I break the spell and leave the tomb to get some air, with Mom and Dad following close behind. Our walk through Peaceful Meadows Cemetery is silent until we reach the other side. We pass through the gate into the pet cemetery, the resting place of our cat Luna and dog Hiro. My thoughts are not really on them, and it seems my parents’ aren’t either. Instead, they finally ask about the remainder of my trip to Tomarang.
Wade: Was everything okay after I left?
Tambara: Yeah, but there was a lot more rain.
Wade: I guess I chose the wrong time of year to plan a trip there.
Tambara: It was good though. I found a few ways to occupy myself.
Wade: Yeah, but I still never should have left you like that. I’m sorry.
Tambara: It’s okay, Dad, really. I enjoyed the time alone, and I’m thinking I might plan a return trip soon.
Maia: Oh, so you really enjoyed yourself.
My mouth involuntarily curls into a smile as Udom comes to mind again. His memory feels like a ghost of a fourth person standing with us. I enjoyed my time with him deeply, and I could have enjoyed even more if I hadn’t run out of time.
My face glows, and another grin spreads across my cheeks before I can stop it. I feel it rising and rush to conceal it, but Dad notices before it fades completely.
Wade: Wait, what was that smile about?
I force my face into a stone mask, but it’s too late. All I can do now is deny it.
Tambara: What smile? I didn’t smile.
Maia: You definitely smiled. What else happened in Tomarang?
I could brush their questions aside and change the subject, but somehow it feels like my time with Udom deserves more than silence. And besides, I’m a grown woman. I shouldn’t have to hide.
Tambara: I met a guy.
Mom and Dad are suddenly more in sync than I’ve ever seen them before.
Wade and Maia: *at the same time* You did?
Tambara: Yeah, sort of.
Wade: What does “sort of” mean? Did you meet someone or not? Wait—you didn’t invite him to the rental, did you?
My eyes betray the truth, and Daddy catches it instantly. His jaw tightens, and his entire face hardens as if holding back words.
I know Daddy will always see me as a little girl, and I get it, but it’s time for him to get over it. I attempt to break the tension.
Tambara: I have a picture of him. You want to see?
Wade: Hell no!
Mom glances tentatively at Daddy before raising her hand like a schoolgirl.
Maia: I do! Is he cute?
Tambara: He’s more than just cute. His eyes, his smile—you just have to see for yourself.
I ignore Daddy’s drooped eyes and slack expression and hurry over to Mom, pulling out my phone. She lets out a girlish giggle as I show her the picture.
Maia: Girl! He’s fine!
Tambara: I know, right?
Mom suddenly straightens up.
Maia: Wait, did the two of you—?
She doesn’t have to finish. We all know what she’s asking. Daddy steps closer, his back tense as he waits for my answer. If I don’t hurry up and respond, I’m afraid he’ll have a heart attack right then and there.
Tambara: No, we spent some time in the hot tub, and then he left. I really liked him though, and I can’t lie—I wanted to.
Daddy groans out loud, and I shrug my shoulders at him, because it’s the truth and he’ll just have to learn to accept it. Daddy shakes his head as if he can’t take anymore and leaves through the gate. Mom and I share a conspiratorial smile, amusement breaking through the tension.
(Generation 5 Chapter Summaries)
Thanks for reading! Please hit the “like” button if you’ve enjoyed what you read! Keep scrolling if you’d like to leave a comment. 🥰
