This is it. Unless someone gives mama a get outta jail free card, this is now my home. I admit that it’s the nicest place I ever lived, but…I still don’t see how I could make it home.
Ms. Fuller: Do you remember which room is yours Alida?
Alida: Yes
Ms. Fuller: Good. Claudia should be in there, she can help you get adjusted.
I seriously doubt that, but I head into the room to join her anyway.
Claudia is there sitting on the bed when I walk in. I hear her giggle softly to herself. I’m suspicious, thinking she might be up to something until she looks down and types something into her phone. I realize that she’s probably just texting.
She doesn’t say anything to me and I don’t say anything to her. I walk over to the dresser beside the bed that’s been assigned to me and grab a small bottle of bubble solution.
Claudia looks down at her phone one more time before she gets up and leaves the room.
I open up the bottle of bubbles, pull out the wand and begin to blow as hard as I can. It’s almost silly how much fun a simple activity like this can be. One of my old preschool teachers would give us a bottle of bubbles to blow whenever one of us lost our temper and was on the verge of a huge tantrum. It seems that I was offered the bubble bottle a lot more frequently than the other kids, but I guess I had a lot more to be angry about…even then.
I’m a bit older now, but I still like to blow bubbles when I feel mad or when I get that funny feeling in my tummy that makes me feel like something bad is going to happen.
I blow bubbles until my cheeks begin to hurt, then I stash the bottle away just in case I have a need for them later. Everyone else in the house seems to have some place to be or something to do. I refuse to leave the room, so I pull out some old homework and begin to work on some math problems…hoping that I’ll be left alone until bedtime. No such luck…within moments, Ms. Fuller enters the room.
Ms. Fuller: There you are Alida. Is everything okay here?
I don’t want Ms. Fuller to talk to me and I definitely don’t like the way my name sounds coming out of her mouth.
Alida: My name is Leelee.
Ms. Fuller: Okay…I don’t mind calling you Leelee. Is that what your mom called you?
I cringe and suddenly don’t want her using my mama’s nickname for me either, but I already opened my big mouth. I don’t get a chance to change my mind about it anyway because suddenly Michael runs into the room.
Michael: Mama Nadine!
I know Ms. Fuller isn’t Michael’s mom, so I can’t imagine why he’d call her that.
Ms. Fuller: What can I help you with Michael?
Michael: You accidentally signed me up for scouts! I don’t wanna be a scout. I wanna be in drama club.
Ms. Fuller: But drama club is full of girls. Most of the little boys at your school are scouts.
Michael: Is Alida going to be a scout?
I perk up at my name.
Ms. Fuller: No…she’ll be a part of the drama club.
I don’t like how they are talking about me like I’m not here. And I definitely don’t know why I’m being signed up for anything without being told. I let my temper get the best of me…
Alida: Will you shut up already. Who cares about scouts and drama club! It’s all stupid!
Ms. Fuller: Alida…that’s not nice. We don’t speak to each other like that here. If you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything.
Alida: That’s what I was trying to do, but his whiny voice bugs me!
Ms. Fuller: *to Michael* Wait for me in the living room. We’ll discuss the scouts later.
Michael leaves the room and I brace myself, believing that Ms. Fuller is about to yell at me for my outburst. She doesn’t. Her voice is just as calm as it was when she spoke to Michael.
Ms. Fuller: Leelee, it’ll make you feel a lot better if you find it in yourself to apologize to Michael.
Alida: But I’m not sorry…and I changed my mind. You can call me Alida.
Ms. Fuller: Okay…whatever you want. *brief silence* Can I help you with your homework?
Alida: I kind of like to do my homework by myself.
Ms. Fuller: Are you sure about that? *looks closer at the page* I’d double check number 5 if I were you.
I want to ignore her, but when I look at number 5, I see that I made an obvious mistake. I quickly erase it and write down the correct answer.
Ms. Fuller: I know a few tips that can help make those math problems easier.
I don’t exactly agree to have her help me, but I don’t really refuse the help either. With her guidance, I finish the math problems fairly quickly. I close my book secretly grateful for her help. I can’t recall a time when mama was able to help me with homework.
I stand up and put away my homework.
Ms. Fuller: See…that wasn’t so bad was it?
I realize that thank you is usually not that hard to say, but right now…it feels like the toughest thing in the world. The fight in me is the only thing that I have full control of. If I’m too nice to Ms. Fuller, then it’s like I’m accepting everything that’s happened to me and giving my okay. But, I can’t do that. Not yet anyway.
Alida: Where’s the bathroom?
Ms. Fuller: Uh…there’s two. One in my bedroom and the other is the 2nd door on your left.
I leave the room and Ms. Fuller follows me out. I feel like I’ve won this round, but I don’t know how long I can hold out if she keeps being nice to me.
While in the bathroom, I’m surprised by the sudden sound of Ms. Fuller’s loud, powerful singing voice.
Ms. Fuller: ♫ At laaast, my love has come along. My lonely days are over. And life is like a sooong! ♪
(Song: At Last – Etta James)
I’m drawn to her because other than on TV or on the radio…I’d never heard someone who can sing like this.
Ms. Fuller: ♬ Oh yeah, yeah. At last, the skies above are blue. My heart was wrapped up in clover. The night I looked at youuuu…♩
Without missing a beat, Ms. Fuller hands me a glass of the citrus punch that she’d just mixed. I take a sip and find that it’s as heavenly as her voice. I turn and head outside…looking to enjoy my punch on the front patio. Ms. Fuller’s amazing voice seems to follow me out the door…
Ms. Fuller: ♩ And I found a dream that I could speak to. A dream that I can call my own. I found a thrillll to press my cheek to. A thrill I have never known….oh yeah, yeah! ♬
(Generation 1 Chapter Summaries)
