Feeling hungry and tired, I drag myself inside and prepare a quick meal of fish tacos. I’m halfway through my first term, and I’m not sure how I will make it through three more. But right now, it’s time to turn my attention to my son, who I feel I’ve neglected today.
Kai sits down with his plate.
Prosperity: Tell me about this donuts thing.
Kai: It’s Donuts for Dads, and I’m supposed to bring my dad to breakfast on Friday. Can you call him?
And just like that, I realize that I’ll have to break my son’s heart. Calling Craig isn’t going to happen. Even if I could, he’d probably never come. He made it clear that he wanted no part of his child’s life.
Prosperity: I’m sorry, Kai. It’s like I said before, your father and I agreed that I’d take care of you.
Kai’s head sinks, and his mouth draws down in disappointment.
Kai: So that means that you won’t call him?
I’d rather cut off my tongue than say what I have to say next.
Prosperity: I can’t call him, Kai. He doesn’t have a phone. And he probably wouldn’t come anyway.
The blues return…deep dark foggy blues fill the space in the air between my son and me.
Kai bites into his taco in slow, almost mechanical movements. I’m not sure what to say to make it better, but I have to try. I smile and add some cheer to my voice.
Prosperity: Hey, maybe I can go instead!
As soon as I say it, I know it’s not possible. Kai’s class starts at 8, the same time as my first final on Fridays. But I’d sacrifice school if I have to, to make my sweet boy feel better.
Kai: No, you’re not a dad. Only dads are supposed to come.
That can’t be true. What happens with the kids who do not have fathers?
Prosperity: Are you sure? Maybe I –
Kai gets up from his seat and pushes his chair back to the table.
Kai: That’s okay. Just forget it.
His voice wavers, and I know he’s doing his best to hold it together. He walks towards his bedroom with his chin on his chest.
It’s not until he turns the corner that I hear the heavy breathing that usually comes right before the tears. I’ll have to find a way to put both of our hearts back together after this. I know he’s probably heading into his room to cry, but rather than follow him, I’ll give him a moment alone. I’m not sure I’m the one he needs right now. This is between him and the daddy that he’s never met.
I clean up the mess in the kitchen, allowing the blues to slowly transform into purples and then quickly mutate into deep reds. I’m pissed. What kind of teacher would plan an event that isolates kids and makes them feel the way my son is feeling right now? It’s not fair. I’m not going to stand by and just let it happen. Kai’s teacher will be getting a harshly written email from me tonight.
After I complete the household chores for the evening, I go in to check on Kai. Judging by the dried tear stain tracks on his cheeks, he most likely cried himself to sleep. I kiss each one and admit that I never calculated what it would cost my son when I decided to let his dad off the hook. Maybe I should have insisted that he be involved. I look up at Craig’s picture, wondering how he could live with himself, knowing that he’s turned his back on his child…his flesh and blood.
Meanwhile, in Strangerville…Merit and Roni celebrate Merit’s birthday at the 8 Bells Bar. It’ll probably be the last time he and Roni will be able to hang out for a while because he’ll be going off to college, and she’ll be following in her mother’s footsteps and starting her acting career.
The two of them have been spending a lot of time together. There’s no denying the chemistry. Merit decides to take his chances and attempts to pull Roni into his arms. She stops him cold.
Veronica: No, Meri.
Merit: But I thought…I thought this is what we both wanted.
Veronica: I can’t. What happens when you go off to college? Do you think it’s smart for us to start up a relationship right before you leave?
Merit: I don’t know, Roni. But I’m tired of you giving me mixed signals.
Veronica: Is that what you think I’m doing? This – you, me…it’s a mistake waiting to happen. Let’s just remain friends, and if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.
Merit: Why would it be a mistake?
Veronica: You’ll be in college where there are plenty of other girls. I don’t want to hold you back – keeping you tied up in a long-distance relationship.
Merit: Tied up? I’d have no problem waiting for you!
Roni responds by pulling Merit into a big hug. He’s right. She has been giving him mixed signals, but not because she doesn’t want him. It’s because she’s afraid that a long-distance relationship would cost them their friendship.
Veronica: That’s just the thing. It would help if you didn’t wait for me. I want you to live your life.
Meri knows what she’s trying to do, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Merit: It’s late, we should go.
The two of them exit the bar in silence. It’s not until they are outside that Roni turns to him.
Veronica: Promise me that you won’t wait, Meri.
Merit: I can’t promise that.
Her next words threaten to break her own heart before she even says them.
Veronica: I’m not going to wait. I’m going to date and see what’s out there. I beg you to do the same.
Merit tries to let the words sink in, but they won’t. They remain where they are, swirling around in his ear, blocked by his guarded emotions. But even this doesn’t completely shield him from the pain of unrequited love.
Merit: Let me take you home.
Veronica: *deep sigh* Okay.
(Generation 2 Chapter Summaries)
