Tambara: Did my grandma like to play?
Clyde: Play? With, like, what, toys? No, playing wasn’t her thing. But she liked to cook. We never had money, but if anyone ever visited the house—she insisted on feeding them.
Maia doesn’t remember that about her mother, but maybe that’s where she got her love of cooking.
Tambara: Will you play with me?
Clyde: Sorry, little darling, Grandpa doesn’t have time for games. But we can listen to music.
Tambara: No thanks, I’ll play with my toy now.
Tami gets from her chair to find a spot to play. Maia walks over to take her place.
Clyde: That child needs a sibling.
Maia: A sibling? I don’t think so, father. There’s barely enough time in the day as it is.
Clyde: Having only one child ain’t natural. Kids need other kids to play with.
Maia: You only had one child.
Clyde: And you know why…*brief pause* But your mother wanted more kids. Money was tight, but she always believed we’d find a way.
Maia: I didn’t know that about her—you know, what you said about how she loved cooking.
Clyde: Oh yeah! There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her cooking.
Maia: I’ve considered opening a food stand-over at the Manzanita market.
Clyde: Oh yeah? You should.
Maia: I planned to get started this week, but then we went to CE to get married. And now, some other things have come up. I’ll have to put it off for another week or two.
Maia would never tell her father that he’s the ‘other thing’ that’s come up. His pride would have him moving right back to his old place.
Clyde: You can’t keep putting your plans on hold, Maia girl. Before you know it, you’ll be too old to get out of bed in the morning.
Maia: Now you see why I say I don’t have time for another child? It’s not like I planned on putting it off. But I need to be here for Tami and you. I also have responsibilities as a wife.
Clyde: What about your responsibilities to yourself? I bet your husband hasn’t put off his career plans. He still standing in front of that camera, talking to himself?
Her father isn’t wrong. Dub’s career is taking off, and she hasn’t even had the time to start hers. But caring for her father won’t make it any easier. Clyde’s comment sends her emotions into a whirlwind. She needs a moment to herself.
Maia: I’ll make you dinner, so you’ll have something to eat later.
Clyde: The kitchen is yours. Do what you want.
Maia gets up and grabs the ingredients to make a chicken stir-fry with her father’s words still ringing around in her head. He has a knack for making her feel like she’s not in control of her life. Now, she’s feeling a slight resentment towards him and even towards Dub. But maybe it was always there, and her father’s words have only brought it to her attention.
Maia puts the freshly cooked meal into the refrigerator for later and decides that preparing breakfast for her father now would save her time in the morning.
Meanwhile, Clyde leads Tami downstairs to show her the fancy computer.
Clyde: Do you know how to work this thing? Maybe I’ll get me a camera so I can spend all day talking into it like your father. Can you show me how to post on that tube tube?
Tambara: It’s called Simtube, and nobody wants to watch old people on there, Grandpa.
Clyde: Word of advice, little darling-nobody likes a brat.
I return from my visit with Luca** feeling some kind of way. As always, he gave me some good advice, but I still feel like a failure as a father. And that’s made worse by me comparing my child to his. Tami doesn’t deserve that. She’s her own person with a one-of-a-kind personality. She’ll never be like Desi and I don’t want her to be. I need to make some changes, which may require more direction.
I sit down at the computer and create a bucket list of things I want to accomplish before I die. The first few goals are straightforward and shouldn’t be too difficult to complete. But nothing on my list relates to my family or, more specifically, my relationship with Tami. I review the list and add one last goal—to make sure that I tell Tami that I’m proud of her just the way she is.
Right on cue, Tami enters the house.
Tambara: Hi, Daddy.
Wade: Hi princess. Did you have a good time at your grandpa’s?
Tambara: Yeah. Mommy is still there. She says she’ll be back soon.
Wade: I need to talk to you about something.
Tambara: Am I in trouble? I didn’t mean to tell Grandpa he’s too old for Simtube.
What the heck? She’s not wrong, but that type of thinking does not help in my quest to become a better father. I get back to the point.
Wade: What? No, that’s not what I want to talk about. Let’s go upstairs and sit somewhere comfortable.
I lead Tami to the couch in the living room and call her over.
Wade: I wanted you to know that daddies aren’t perfect, and we sometimes make mistakes. I’ve made some mistakes with you in the past. So, I’ll do things differently from now on, but I want you to know that it’s because I love you and not because there’s anything wrong with you. Okay?
I can tell by the look on Tami’s face that all I’ve done is confuse her.
Wade: You didn’t understand a word of that, did you?
Tambara: *shakes her head*
I want to get my point across without mentioning Tami’s past behavior. This moment should represent a fresh start for both of us, so I get straight to the point.
Wade: I’m just trying to tell you I’m proud of you, and no matter what you do, that won’t change.
Tami scoots closer.
Tambara: I’m proud of you too, Daddy.
I put my arm around her for a hug, hoping it conveys my love.
Wade: I love you so much! And I’m going to be a better daddy from now on.
Tambara: I’ll be a better Tami.
Wade: You’re already the best Tami that ever lived!
She has her mother’s beautiful smile.
Tambara: I’m hungry daddy.
Wade: Are you? Let’s go in the kitchen to see what I can scrounge up for you.
In the kitchen, I open the refrigerator and pull out the ingredients for spaghetti because it’s one of the few meals I can’t mess up.
I’m just finishing up when Maia returns. She peeks around the corner into the kitchen.
Maia: You’re making dinner?
Wade: Yes, ma’am. You’re not the only one with skills in the kitchen.
Maia: Really? I can’t wait to taste these skills.
Maia grabs a serving for herself and Tami and sits at the table. I’m not hungry, so I sit near them, feeling proud of the great fathering that just took place.
After dinner, Maia and I complete Tami’s bedroom routine together. As I watch Maia kiss Tami goodnight, a new goal for my bucket list pops into my head. I hurry downstairs and add it to my list. It says, ‘I’d like to have another child!”
Meanwhile, Maia walks into her yoga room to relax away the thoughts and doubts that her father put into her head. What he said wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t make her feel better. It only led to more anxiety, and now Maia is asking again and again—‘How do I make time for myself and my goals when everybody else needs me?’
**Read Dub’s visit with Luca here: Correction (this link will take you to StoriesbyJes2G’s website)
(Generation 4 Chapter Summaries)
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