I lie in bed, trying to silence my thoughts of Udom and remind myself that I’m the director of this situation. But my resolve falters when I picture him lying in bed with his cocoa‑butter skin, that slightly crooked smile, and those soft brown eyes. I want to be in control, but of what? Isn’t this what I’ve wanted since I met him? He’s only here for another couple of days, which means only one more night, yet I’m still lying here alone. Didn’t I invite him because I was tired of being lonely? Because I wanted to see that smile again and feel the warmth of his touch?
I don’t want to want him, or even worse, to need him. But I’ll be mad at myself if I don’t explore what this could be.
Regret is a heavy thing that can linger for years, so it’s that last thought that gets me out of bed long past midnight. I don’t want to waste another minute. As I leave my room, I tell myself that if he’s asleep, I won’t wake him. But honestly, I’m also silently hoping he’s awake thinking about me too.
I walk down the small hallway and cross into the movie room, hearing him before I see him. The light is on in the living room. I turn the corner, and there he is, dressed in underwear that reveals more than I’m prepared for and makes me forget to take my next two breaths.
Udom: Oh, hey, you’re up.
I am, and so is he. But what does that even mean right now? I can’t think straight, so I clear my throat and make up an excuse.
Tambara: Yeah, I was a little thirsty. I wanted a drink of water.
He lifts an eyebrow, and I know he doesn’t believe me. It’s a complete lie. We both know it. But what’s his excuse?
Tambara: Why are you up?
Udom: The cold. I got up to light a fire in the fireplace.
I look over his shoulder and see that the fireplace is indeed lit. It’s not a lie. But why light it? An extra blanket would have solved the problem. Was he expecting me?
Tambara: Well, it’s late. I guess we should be back in bed.
What am I doing? I have a man standing in front of me, barely dressed, and I’m still trying to play the control game. There’s more than one way to be in control, and one of them doesn’t involve sleeping alone in a chilly bedroom. Luckily, he makes the next move.
Udom: Or you can stay and keep me company, since we’re both up.
I glance at his toned stomach and the way he’s standing there waiting for my answer, and I realize I’ve already lost the fight. There’s no way I’m going to bed alone tonight.
As if he’s read my mind, Udom takes my hand and leads me to the couch. He sits and gently pulls me down with him. We end up face to face, close enough that I can feel his breath on my chin. I’m sitting across his lap, and the closeness sends a rush through me that I’m not prepared for.
Udom: What are we doing?
I lean in a little more, my body reacting in ways I’ve never experienced.
Tambara: *soft whisper* I don’t know.
The words feel small, almost childish, revealing just how inexperienced I really am. The question isn’t just what we’re doing…it’s what I want to do.
Udom tightens his arms around me, drawing me closer until my stomach brushes his chest. He closes the distance between us and kisses me. I kiss him back. This isn’t my first kiss…that was with Enzo on prom night, clumsy and unsure. I even kissed Udom once before in Tomarang, a quick, impulsive peck meant to stop him from leaving. But none of those compare to this. Our mouths meet with a warmth and urgency that feels new, deep, and full of possibility.
As if I’m weightless, Udom lifts me in one smooth motion and carries me closer to the fireplace. I hear the crackle of the flames and feel the warmth against my shoulder all at once. The rush of it all makes my breath quicken as he kneels and lowers us both to the floor, gently slipping my robe from my shoulders. He holds me close, making it impossible to step back, and I give in to the electricity sparked by his fingertips resting at my waist.
Tambara: *breathless* I’ve never done this before.
Udom responds softly in his native language. I don’t understand the words, but the tone is warm and steady, making me want to melt into the sound of his voice. He lowers me to the floor and leans over me, supporting his weight with one arm while the other traces slow, careful lines along my side. He kisses me again, unhurried and deep enough to make it hard to think about anything but him.
Everything else becomes a blur. At some point we’re partially undressed, and he produces protection without hesitation. What I’ve been wondering about since leaving Tomarang is finally within reach, and I realize I’m on a runaway train I have no desire to stop.
The kissing and cuddling don’t stop after woohoo. We readjust our underwear and stay there on the floor, wrapped up in each other. He whispers more words in Tomarang and strokes my face and hair. Eventually, we come up for air. He switches to Simlish.
Udom: Let me make up for earlier. There’s a place, an all‑day breakfast spot my dad used to take me when I lived with him.
Tambara: Okay, where is it?
Udom: It’s in Newcrest, just outside of Willow Creek. Have you been there before?
Tambara: We’ve passed through on our way to my grandparents’ place in Henford. But yeah, let’s do it.
Udom: Perfect, I think you’ll like it. It was once a trolley stop with an actual trolley you can eat inside. It was always my favorite place to go.
The concept of time has escaped me, but I’m sure the sun will be up soon. Even though I’m not in a hurry to leave his side, I figure we should at least get a few hours of sleep while we can. I almost forgot that it’s New Year’s, which means we’ll probably be up long past midnight.
Tambara: We should get some sleep.
We make our way to the guest room, mostly because it’s closest, and the moment we stand we both realize just how tired we actually are. Udom pulls me close, holding me against him as we drift off to sleep. I can’t stop the little giggles and smiles bubbling under my lips.
It’s almost noon before I’m up again. I glance over and see Udom still sleeping, peaceful and completely unaware of the chaos he’s stirred in me. It’s the perfect chance to check on Finesse and make sure she’s okay, especially since I’ll probably be gone most of the day.
I change into my riding clothes and head to the barn, finding her awake and waiting for me. But something’s off. I look around the stall and freeze — someone has cleaned it. There’s a fresh pile of poop in the hay, but all the mounds from yesterday are gone. Am I imagining this? Who cleaned it? It couldn’t have been Udom… unless he did it in the middle of the night.
I grab the pitchfork and clean up the new mess, quietly appreciating whoever handled the rest. Honestly, this is a chore I’d be happy to avoid doing in the future.
Udom finally wakes and emerges, freshly showered and ready to start the day. After I take a quick shower and change, we catch a rideshare out to Newcrest, which ends up being a longer drive than I anticipated.
We’re both starving by the time we arrive and waste no time placing our order. Udom grins when he sees the prices on the menu.
Udom: Finally, something I can afford!
Once the waiter walks away, I decide it’s the perfect moment to bring up something that’s been on my mind for a long time.
Tambara: So, tell me the truth, are you seeing anyone back in Tomarang?
Udom smiles and blushes slightly.
Udom: To be completely honest, I’ve never really been in a relationship before.
It’s hard to believe at first, but the way he looks down for a second tells me he means it.
Tambara: Why not?
Udom: I’m seen as different there, being biracial and being partially raised out here in Simerica. It’s sometimes hard to know where I fit, so I’m still exploring, trying to figure some things out.
Tambara: So, you’ve never been intimate with anyone before.
Udom: No. Unless making out counts.
Tambara: But you were so confident and knew exactly what to do. How?
Udom: I just figured it out as I went.
Tambara: Guess that works too.
Our food arrives, and my growling stomach reminds me it’s way past time to eat.
I take one look at my apple bacon waffles and have to stop myself from inhaling them in one bite. Udom waits for me to take the first taste.
Udom: So, what do you think?
Tambara: It’s amazing.
Of course, I’m absolutely starving, so even something off the ground would taste good right now. But Udom looks so pleased that I like the food that I keep that part to myself. Once he sees I’m happy with my choice, he starts eating his.
Tambara: So, does your father still live in Willow Creek?
Udom: No. When I decided to move to Tomarang, he retired to Sulani.
Tambara: Oh, so you won’t get to see him while you’re here.
Udom: No, but we talk all the time. And he plans to visit me in Tomarang soon.
Visit him in Tomarang? My stomach drops. I hate being reminded how far away he really is.
Thoughts of Udom going home tomorrow settle over me and sit heavy on my mind. I wonder if it’s on his mind too. And what are we supposed to do about it? I want to ask, but I’m scared of the answer. Does he actually have feelings for me, or was this just an international booty call?
We finish our lunch, and Udom pays the bill. We keep talking, drifting into everything except the one thing weighing on me. I tell him about my parents and their divorce, and he tells me more about what life is like in Tomarang. Eventually, we find a bench nearby and sit for a while, ending our lunch date side by side, looking up at the clouds.
(Generation 5 Chapter Summaries)
